In Limbo (But Not Alone)

You know the game of limbo we played as kids?  Sometimes at parties, sometimes at skating rinks... always with a bar that was gradually lowered.  The goal was to cross beneath it without touching the bar - your feet and knees did their very best to keep you grounded and pull you forward, while the rest of your body bent backwards and risked a painful collapse.  Mmmm, so many metaphors.  

Anyway, the real-life adult version is decidedly less fun...

What I thought would be a nice rest day did not go according to plan.  I had my OBGYN appointment today - thank you to anyone who saw the early morning blog and prayed.  

Long story short:  After doing all I could to prepare and help things go smoothly, the planned saline infusion sonogram is not something they actually do at any SSM facility.  They referred me to OU Reproductive, who cannot get me in until November.  Today involved a lot of frustration and phone tag, and I'm still waiting to hear back from Dallas IVF about the potential cost and whether they could work me in this week.  I have legally adopted two embryos, and I feel like God entrusted them to me, and I do not take that lightly.  A lot of other areas of my life feel suspended in limbo while I'm waiting to know something definitive (a clear yes or no on the pregnancy hopes), and that has been more challenging than I expected.

I'm reminding myself of how chaotic and terrible it felt to live through the 2020 home remodel at 522... it felt as if it would never end - minor delays felt overwhelming, and it felt catastrophic when the original contractor just gave up and stopped answering texts and calls.  But we found someone better to finish things up, and it all came together beautifully in the end.  

Three months is not the end of the world.  My body will adjust and calm down, and my mind can pivot and adjust to whatever timeline God puts in place here.  I will not catastrophize this; I am not a victim.

For whatever reason #spirtualwarfare, a repeated and loud thought when it comes to big life decisions lately has been, "You're on your own here."  The fruit of it has been a. lot. of extra pressure and stress/exhaustion.

So that's an agreement I'm going to break very early in this single parent storyline. 

God is WITH me.

God is FOR me.

He is faithful and true.

I am not partnerless.

My child will not be Father-less.

I never have to face any decision alone.

God wastes nothing.

His plans are higher than mine.

He guards me with protective strength.

However this journey ends, He will use it for my good and His glory.

I am okay.  This is not all on me.  I can rest in Him.

I'm gonna end this there and get some rest tonight. ❤

Keep Going!

Happy Tuesday!  I'm off work today and tomorrow, then covering our office phones all day Thursday + Friday afternoon.  It's a legit break week from school, and I only have 2-3 virtual clients this week!!  I took a nap after work today and plan to get extra rest tomorrow too - I need it, and I'm very grateful for God orchestrating all of the above!!

I also have my ultrasound to determine whether I'll need surgery this morning.  Not positive how soon I'll know the results, but prayers are appreciated for peace and faith either way.

And now, I'm diving into a photo catch-up post, including several memes and random pictures I've saved over the past few weeks! =)

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Brothers pics, three years apart.  (2013 - 2017 - 2021 - 2025)

Dentist Neil and fam celebrating his bday yesterday + Pastor Craig and Amy

Surprisingly, I haven't Googled or watched this entire podcast yet, but the clips I'm seeing all. over. my. FB. feed have been fun, and I'm glad they're happy together!

Laughed out loud at this one. =)

Jeff Moore with all the "Keep going" memes - I'm a fan!

Lol this is the sense of humor I would imagine worms would have. =)

Aww, memories of 1990s McDonald's playgrounds!!

Not Jeff Moore, but the keep going message is still appreciated!

Just me, randomly looking at wedding cakes and saving ones I like. lol  Whyyy??  Who knows.  For the record, I would do the middle one with red, pinks, yellow, orange, and white roses + the Laurannae bride's cake for the cake & icing!  And a better cake topper. lol  And the groom's cake would be the Lauranna chocolate cake with cookies and cream icing and loads of chocolate covered strawberries.  And there would be a fun cookie table room like they talk about on Annie & Eddie's podcast.  (And I have like 1,000 other ideas on the food and dresses and decor and music and slideshows and venue.)  Just missing an awesome groom. lolol  Details.

YES to this one.  Speaking of, I'm likely making this blog private soon.  I so don't want to, but feel like I need to in this season of counseling work.

Lindsay's birthday this month + the Shoemaker fam as the kids start with their new school in Texas!

Not positive where I heard this, but the quote itself stuck with me:  "If you tend toward obsession in any area, abstinence is usually better than moderation."  I keep thinking about that one.

Fultons on their August vacation to Fort Walton Beach + Hannah with her Cottage Flower business!

Another meme I've thought about a lot.  I'm doing my best to batch similar tasks - really focusing on court reporting work, then counseling progress notes and treatment plans, then homework... without switching back and forth 1000 times.  

Last week was the first week back for Evergreen - yay Wilsons and Fosters (and future Muecke child)! lol

The audiobook I'm listening to lately talks about how our food and workout choices are always tending toward a pattern of decay (hibernation-style stagnancy and indulgence) or healthy growth (building stamina, energy, muscles, etc.).  I think the same is true for our relationships.

Chet sent me a poster for The Holiday 2... Googled it.  It was fake.  Why do people do that!?  Then I got curious about how old the cute British daughters would be... 27, and a very different look now.  So I'm good with sticking to the original movie, which was near perfection!  Not everything needs a sequel!!

Narrowing down what I really want; feeling more engaged and purposeful!

Run with endurance - pay attention to what God has set before you.  Strip off what weighs you down and continually trips you up.  Heaven is cheering for you! 

That's all for now.  Have a fantastic Tuesday!

I love you and believe in you. 

Keep going!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Birthdays & Breaking Agreements

The Mini Miss K's 12th birthday was on Thursday!  I was able to move my Thursday clients to Wednesday night (yay!), and we had Mom's spaghetti (Kyndal's fav) for her birthday family dinner.  Here's me and the birthday girl ~ I just love her so much!!  I've realized how much I love to celebrate the people who love to celebrate themselves! lol  I always have and always will appreciate people who get excited about making a big deal of their birthday and embrace the belief that their life deserves to be richly celebrated!!  I'm on that list.  And Kyndal making us a detailed Google slideshow of her bday wishlist and spending the last couple months planning her party during family dinners puts her firmly in that category. lol #embracelife #youareworthcelebrating

She was looking so cute in her new leopard pants and pink shirt and birthday button. ❤

Mamaw with T&C!

Carter joined us for Kyndal's bday, so it was good to get caught up on his life and hear all of them catching up on the latest CHA-circle news.

MWC Sams did a slightly better job on this cake, but still not too impressed!

The Parrish boys!  J's inability to hold the serious face makes me happy. =)

The Miss K and everyone else!

And finally, a happy through-the-years slideshow!!

I really love that song and feel nostalgic whenever I hear it, thanks to S.C.  And I always call her "preshface" on the blog, so it feels appropriate! lol

Anyway, now that all the August events are over, all my best excuses for continually eating unhealthy foods are also gone.  And as my own presentation reminded me, I'm. not. stuck. and I'm. not. a. helpless. victim. in any area - I have the power to make better choices that build new habits and create real change, and I'm taking that seriously.  I don't love the trajectory I've been on lately with stress-eating and negative agreements (thinking patterns that are more aligned with the enemy's plan for my life than God's), and it's 100% up to me to fix that.  I'm gonna throw it out here that my new goal is to actually reach the 155 goal weight Dr. Matt set for me last summer.  Health is definitely not all about the scale numbers, but I was too quick to decide that number would be impossible for me.  It isn't the impossible dream, and it would actually put me at a healthy BMI and probably a size 10, which would be awesome and not extreme or absurd.  And I don't want to sell myself short by leaning into the old/familiar identity and limiting beliefs, so I'm leaning into new possibilities!  Here's to being intentional about breaking terrible agreements, setting new goals, agreeing with God's plan for me, embracing a new way of seeing myself, and staying the freaking course.  For the record, while we're on this topic, I'd like to be at 177 or below pre-pregnancy, then use wisdom and stay under 200 if God allows me to get pregnant... and then eventually (think 2027) push myself to reach 155 and try to maintain within 10 pounds of that + get 45 minutes of good exercise six days a week for the foreseeable future.  Okay then, great talk! lol  I am buckling down on healthy eating and training for my Route 66 Marathon Relay starting tomorrow! #getexcited #teamchettles

Hope you have a lovely Sunday ahead.

I love you and believe in you!
And I believe in our ability to course correct,

and I'm confident God is with us and for us in whatever we may face today!

❤ ❤ ❤

Leadership Identity

I have officially submitted my final presentation for Dr. Burkhart's class - huzzah for a break week ahead!

I will miss seeing him and hearing from him regularly, and I will miss this subject (Leadership, Ethics, and Advocacy).

This 7-week summer class has been incredible in encouraging/shaping my leadership identity.  It's perfect that they put it at the beginning of this program.  I feel very grateful for what I've learned and for the influence his leadership and belief in me has had (and will continue to have) on my life!  

Here is the handout I attached with my presentation... 

And here's the presentation video itself.

And last but not least, here's a compilation of some of the video feedback and thoughts from Dr. Burkhart this semester - this is how he grades everything, and it brings me so much joy!  It's the most fun when someone you deeply respect and admire turns out to be a fan of you, as well. =)

So truly grateful for every word of that.  I am not oblivious to the fact that this is God rewarding my commitment to academic integrity - it mattered, and this strengthens that decision moving forward.  The above praise and encouragement has pushed me to see my life's potential differently and to give it 110% effort throughout this class.  I'm not sure on the exact timeline, but I do believe I will finish the PhD at some point, if for no other reason than to strengthen my leadership identity capital.  Leading well matters, and I'm excited to be moving forward and feeling better about my chances of joining the CCU faculty down the road.  ;-)

That's all for now, friends.
I love you and believe in you!

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Carousel of Progress

After Ashley's book signing event, I grabbed a cupcake-lunch at Laurannae (YUM!), then met Chettles and the kids for H-Tea-O and Woodland Hills mall... Karli Marie wasn't feeling well, so he took the kids so she could enjoy some peace and quiet as she recovers.  It was happy hour at H-Tea-O, something I didn't know about, but it definitely draws a crowd!!  The free samples are a treat... and Chet paid for mine, so the free tea was a treat, as well!  The seasonal cherry and the Texas chai were both better than I'd expected, but my fav sweet blueberry green tea was the winner, as always! 

We walked over the the mall, entering through the new Scheels - yay for a Tulsa-themed photo op!!  On our way out, the kids wanted pics with the statues, so I was happy to oblige! =)

They have a pretty cool mini-aquarium or massive fish tank at the entrance.  We stood there for a while as Tate and Parker watched "Nemo and Dory!"  Chet FaceTimed Jace (who was excited to chat and see all the fish)... then Jace told Mom later that Chet and I had called him from Dallas (bc that's the only Scheels he knows of). lol

Whilst Chet and Tate went to the bathroom, I got to shop with Parker Elizabeth, which was an entertaining treat.  Every dress was her favorite, and she would hold them up to herself and say "Oooh, it fits me!!" lol  This "favorite" white dress that she loved was a bit big, but she'll grow into it!  The way she carried it (for the very short time she wanted to hold it) made me laugh.  Garment bags for the win!

We rode the mall carousel and I got dizzy very quickly!  Still fun, though!

I told Chet her odds are looking good for being my most-photographed person once again this year. lol #somuchcuteness

Anyway, fun afternoon with the mini-BFFs and Chettles... then a delish Los Cabos to-go dinner + going to see Freakier Friday when I got back to Moore - all in all, a pretty perfect "rest day" from life's responsibilities! =)

Truth... still deciding where I want to be moving forward, but I am grateful that I have the power to choose that and don't feel "stuck" anywhere.

Some Shutterfly gems from this week 17 years ago (summer 2008)!  Movie with Jennifer Diane, Morgan Elizabeth, Sarah Bliss, MiMi's Cafe with Malori Riah, Haley and the Switch Youth girls, Melting Pot with Megan from lifegroup, and helping JB at Deer Creek!  Okay, to sum up my deeper thoughts on this: I'm grateful that all of these pics hold equal weight for me in this moment; I no longer feel pain, longing, or loss when I see photos with Malori.  Thanks to the '7 years and 12 days' revelation from God, the soul tie that was gripping for me is finally gone.  The difference I am talking about is internal and intangible, but I am deeply aware of it - the power this once had over me is gone, and that's not a small thing.  Outside of JoBug, all of these were seasonal friendships, and I'm grateful for the memories and what I learned from each of them.  And I'm thankful for God's ability to heal and change us over time!! ❤

We find what we look for. ❤

Calming Song of the Week = Be Still and Know by CeCe Winans

Okay, now I'm off to bed early to try to make up for going to bed very late last night!  Yay for the accompanying sounds of the storm outside.  Now I'll be focusing on homework and will see you back here next week.  I love you and believe in you, and I am confident that God can heal the deepest wounds in your soul as you keep seeking Him!

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12!

My youngest niece turns 12 on Thursday!  They celebrated with a colorful slumber party on Friday!! 

Rach took them out for a movie + mall fun + Ted's dinner, then Triston, Jace, and TJ joined the girls for a glowing night swim at Mom and Dad's!

The decor was awesome and ever-so-slightly over the top, as per usual! lol

Rach went all out with the posters, banners, tents, balloons, and aerials!

Where Rach gave this party 190% effort, the MWC Sam's gave it a heartfelt 10% effort on his cake. lol Still tasty, but the decorating job was very rough!! 

Kyndal has been planning this party for several months, so I hope it was all she wanted it to be!  The matching tutus, shoes, and sunglasses are pretty cute and fun!! =)

Happy last full week of summer to the niece and nephews, and happy Monday to my lovely blog readers!

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I've Never Been Here Before

So I've been following Ashley's blog and Instagram stories for. a. minute.

(15 years and counting now).

Saturday, I had the privilege of meeting her in person for the first time! ❤

She had a book signing event at Book and Bloom in Broken Arrow... an adorable bookstore & flower shop that she said reminded her of You've Got Mail.  For real, Main Street in Broken Arrow is the best, and they chose the perfect location for this event!  Oooh, and I stopped by the Laurannae Bakery Ashley had recommended afterward and had the very best cupcake ever, but let's not get sidetracked. lol

The entire Campbell family was there... they're all kind and down-to-earth people who probably found the book-signing dynamic a bit awkward, but they're basically celebrities from my vantage point!!

Fun fact: My favorite photo wall at 522 was inspired by Ashley Ann!!

Campbell fam exactly ten years ago on Saturday. ❤ 

I felt very happy and proud for Ashley that there was a steady crowd of people from 10am to 1pm for this book launch event - amazing!!

Love the whole Campbell fam more than you might think possible - their childhood stories and photos, and the way Ashley celebrates what makes each of her kids unique - gracious, it's been subtle and gradual, but her writing style, eye for detail, love of adventure and color, exceptional photography skills (#snapshops2011), and her genuine love of humanity have shaped my life and taught me so much!! ❤

For a while, Chris and Ashley had three boys and one girl, and that dynamic reminded me of my preshface niece and nephews.

After a long road in the adoption process, in 2012, they traveled internationally to adopt Evann, who completes the awesome Campbell fam party of 7! ❤

In 2022, they took a highly-anticipated year-long trip around the world, visiting 20 different countries and learning from all the people and places along the way.  Ashley wrote and published her first book detailing their memories and stories from that trip, and it is phenomenal!  Genuinely.  Highly recommend it!!

I loved seeing their whole family there in BA supporting her and signing books with her!!  Blogging creates such a fascinating dynamic... I understand that I'm a kind and supportive stranger to them, but I feel like I've known them well for years, and I am so cheering for them right now!!

Each of her kids wrote a personal essay that is included in the book, so I marked their pages for them to sign! =)

Chris was greeting people in the line, so he was the first to sign my book... then I reached Corbett, Hudson, and Everett... the awesome men of the Campbell fam!  I loved following their Instagram posts and stories during their world-traveling adventure, and it made me happy to see them in person!!

I was also really happy to see Breese... fun fact: she has loved baking since she was little (left pic)... she now has her own side business called Sunshine Baked Goods.  And this summer, she baked and decorated the cake for her oldest brother, Corbett's wedding - so cool!

Finally, I was delighted to meet the youngest member of the Campbell fam... following Chris and Ashley's adoption journey was inspiring for me - I was among the hundreds who donated to the Incubator Project for the orphanage, and I cried when Ashley cried the day she met her daughter almost 13 years ago.  I so LOVED reading Evann's essay about conquering her fears and food aversions and embracing new things throughout this trip!!

Ashley Ann was the last person I connected with at the signing table.  The friendly woman next to me in line knew their family well and announced that I had traveled from OKC to be there.  Ashley thanked me for that, and I told her I've followed the blog for years and congratulated her on this massive accomplishment!!  We talked about the cute bookstore and the book launch team and got a photo together, then I stepped forward to keep the line moving.  All in all, my time in the bookstore was relatively short, and there was no way to adequately convey my deeper thoughts or level of gratitude there... but it was a fun Saturday in the Tulsa area, and I'm really glad I came out to support them!

This ended up being more of a tribute to their family than an official book review... but the book is exceptional!  How could it not be!?  I'll write a shorter review for Amazon later this week.  Ashley is a gifted writer and photographer, and her debut book is brimming over with high-quality photos from their trip - (mostly taken by her, but some courtesy of Corbett's impressive drone photography).  Anyway, following their family's trip in real-time was great fun, and it's awesome and expansive to get the behind-the-scenes stories in the book, vicariously experiencing the new people, places, foods, and great memories they shared!  

As a long-time blogger who aspires to be a book author someday, I can appreciate what opening this box meant to Ashley!  Well-deserved joy!!  I really love that Chris and each of the kids wrote their own essays that are included in it - what a gift and keepsake this book will be for their family, and what a gift for everyone who takes the time to read it!  Even the way Ashley formatted the book has inspired me creatively - it's unique, and it's exactly what it should be.  I am deeply thankful for Ashley's wisdom, warmth, and personal strength - over the past 15+ years, her subtle influence on my life has been positive and profound.  The Campbell family is such a light in the world, and I'm happy this book will carry that light a little further!!

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