Eighteen

Happy 18th Birthday to my oldest nephew, Triston Michael! ❤  In some ways, it feels surprising that we’re already here!  In others, it feels like he’s been an adult for a while now.  He's resilient, intelligent, and mature for his age, and I'm confident he has a bright future ahead of him!!

This post will be 18 pics/collages as a tribute for this milestone birthday marking official adulthood.  (Above is our 12-15-24 dinner at Tucker's to celebrate him being on Christmas Break and my last day of class!)

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We first met back in 2010 when Josh and Rachael started dating -- he was 3 and Carter was 2.  This = him looking through the kid's Bible I got him + an adorable LifeChurch lobby pic + them coming to see me and visit the Jenks Aquarium!

So little and cute in their PJs - their first Christmas Eve with us!!

T&C enjoying some watermelon at the DeBusk get together -- that pic was framed in Jace's nursery room!  And I love his bright summer smile in the pic on the right (both of these are at JB's pool/hot tub)!

Rach and T after he lost his first tooth - major news!!

He's the oldest sibling on both sides of his family, and he's always been an awesome big brother (to Carter, Jace, Kyndal, Mason, Bryson, and Emberlee)!

I'm grateful we have a good connection and loads of good memories together!
These pics = After opening his first Macbook on Christmas Eve 2019, Mandalay Bay Beach at our Vegas trip summer 2022, and Serendipity 3 during our NYC trip this January!!

Just hanging out on the stage after the R&J wedding in 2011 + the hoverboard Christmas!

❤ Christmas Eve at Pelican's, surrrious brothers in glasses, dressed up for the CHA program, his baptism Sunday, our "brinner" Christmas 2011, monkey bars at Mom and Dad's, swing at Mom and Dad's, with Alan at Kristin's wedding, and a Parrish family fall photo shoot!

True story - he's the one we call with phone, TV, or computer questions!!

Three of my favorite pics of the four of them!!  (Two at JoBug's, one at 522).

The kids surprising me in the trunk of my car as I was getting ready to head back to Tulsa! lol

Brothers! ❤

Classic tree pic at Woodward Park in Tulsa.  Love them all!!

Timeline hop:  Kindergarten Graduation, candy bar sale in 6th grade, and flying an airplane at age 17!!

Spending quality time with the niece and nephews on the day before the Niagara trip with Mom and Dad!

Rach with T&C at Josh's apartment in 2010 + their rooftop photo shoot 2024!

And #18 = Our escape room adventure + Triston's GoPro swimming pic - love it!

T,

I see you.

I believe in you.

And I'm confident you will change the world!

You've been through a lot, and you have what it takes to keep moving forward.  God is always with you and for you, and as long as I'm around, I am here to support you in any way I can.  I'm excited for your Senior year at CHA ahead!  Praying for continued growth, healing, and strength as you step into the future with a strong foundation and a bright sense of hope and purpose!

Happy 18th Birthday!!

Love you! 
~Aunt Lindsey

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Marathon Monday #16

Four weeks to the Finish Line!!  I jogged 16 miles Saturday morning, and I felt good and strong while I was out there!  Due to a bit of hip pain that may have caused me excessive concern, I toned it down and took Thursday and Friday as complete rest days, then Sunday was also rest and recovery, stretching and sitting with the heating pad.  I was sore post-run, but nothing out of the ordinary, and I feel better and ready for some light hills and strength training today.  My feet are getting tougher in a good way, and my mental resilience is growing stronger now too!  I want to use wisdom and avoid pushing myself too hard, but by the end of Friday night, I felt tired of my own excuses and determined and ready to get out there on Saturday morning, and that was good for me to press through my own fear and inner drama... I'm in the home stretch, and it's exciting!!

I'm super grateful for Central Park at The Station in Moore - it's been the perfect training ground for me in so many ways... a lovely lake/pond with ducks and geese and turtles, a 1.27-mile clean and open trail where loads of people come to train or to walk their cute dogs, the ability to stop by my car regularly for water or energy chews as needed, and easy access to a clean bathroom and filtered water at The Station - YAY!!  This = a turtle fam getting some sun this weekend.  They're much braver when they have crowd support.  One turtle by itself would've popped right back into the water when I stopped for a pic, as I know from lots of experience. lol

Once again, I stopped for a bathroom break and changed my socks at mile 9... I think that helps my mind to feel like it's a fresh start and it helps prevent terrible blisters (or so I tell myself), so I'm planning to pack a bag with extra running socks, body glide, etc. for Mom to have ready on Marathon day so I can stop and change into fresh dry socks once or twice. lol

I was out there for around 4 hours - I remembered sunscreen this time, but should have reapplied midway through.  This round, I spent the entire jog listening to an Apple Music playlist of 2000s hits, which was a fun dose of variety and familiar memories!  I had one slow interval set where I walked an extra 3 minutes because my heart felt like it was racing, but outside of that, I was very steady in my walk/jog intervals, so I'm confident that's the winning formula for race day!!

Yay for the redbud (should be purple-bud) trees!  Boo for the wasp duo that I dramatically changed course to avoid! lol

Four weeks from now, I'll have reached this long-anticipated goal, and I'll be recovering and feeling proud and grateful for this journey.  And shifting my focus to new meaningful goals for the road ahead of me.  I still feel confused and disenchanted sometimes, but the lack of purpose I felt for most of my 20s and 30s has vanished.  There is so much I want to do and accomplish, and I'm more concerned that there isn't enough time for all of it (but whatevs, we have eternal life ahead of us - what a gift!!)  Anyway, happy last day of March, friends and fam!!  I'm confident that you're finishing strong in this first quarter of 2025!  (*Friendly reminder that tomorrow is April Fool's Day.)

Weekend Update!

Hey, friends and fam!  Last night was a Tulsa trip for dinner with the Wilsons and the Fultons!  A tiny bit of rain and lightning on my drive home, but nothing as terrible as they predicted, so no regrets on my end!  The Wilsons were kind enough to host us - Sarah had an extra-stressful week, and it was good to be able to talk through it with the adults while the kids played on the bouncy house outside.  Here's our happy group pic at the end of the night. ❤

The kids waiting on their friend, Kate, to arrive + Chettles grilling awesome steaks for us!!

The cutest little besties... both in purple dresses and silver "click-clack" heels! =)

Chet with Karli's famous parmesan/jalapeno focaccia bread + Karli sautéing the asparagus... the pics are purely bc I was excited about them both having fun aprons for cooking!! =)

Steaks, mac n' cheese, veggies, potatoes, and bread (thanks again, Wilson fam!!) + everyone watching the International Space Station pass by overhead, thanks to Karli signing up for location-based text alerts (and now I have too.)

Group pic minus Kate and Parker + a bright and cheery assortment of Poppi sodas - better than expected + the kids having Cookie Two Step ice cream brought by the Fultons!  Mom also made brickle bars for us, so we were well stocked on dinner and desserts! =)

Rach texted me on Friday that her hand was cramping from all the note-taking... I applaud her studious efforts and her colorful notes - hopefully this will pay off and help her remember it all for the CPC certification test!

Her hands didn't get much of a break, as she's been busy painting then starting the process of crystalling my graduation cap most of this weekend... get excited!!  My parents shan't have trouble finding me in the crowd. lol


I told her the term "crystalling" in her text made me think of Winnie the Bish and his puzzling song! lol

I've spent part of this weekend working on another creative project, building my counseling website with Wix and Storyline... still an unpublished work in progress that needs extra "tweaking" (#youvegotmail), but it's a fun and uplifting project for me!  Compass Counseling: Empowering Women to Move Forward with Hope. ❤ Yay!

So my weekend mostly consisted of website work + the Tulsa trip + a lengthy jog yesterday morning, and of course, Harry Potter audiobooks and Cobra Kai! lol

That show is a treat - funnier characters and more redemptive storylines than I expected.  I went down a rabbit hole reading entertaining Reddit threads and Googling the actors... I had no idea Miguel was Victor from Parenthood and Sam was the first daughter in Scandal!

A presh duck couple stopping by Mom and Dad's pool for a spring swim - I freaking love it! =)

And finally, a meme from Chet Lee that made me laugh!

That's all for tonight.  Hope it's an excellent week ahead!

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Marathon Wednesday (Week #15)

*Writing this two days late... I forgot on Monday!

Saturday was a lighter "long run" of 6 miles, which was delightful and allowed me to get some rest and have a fun Tulsa trip on Sunday.  Training is going well, and tomorrow will be 30 days to the Marathon!  At this point, I am already thinking about what my routine will look like when it's over... how to hold on to the best parts of what I've gained through training while letting go of the long runs that take over my weekends!  I'm looking forward to the race and feeling pretty confident and ready for it, while also feeling ready to move into a new season with more balanced and sustainable exercise and eating routines!

Shifting gears -- I got sad and sobering news last night (3/25/25) about a former CHA coach and current headmaster at another Christian school who was arrested for possession of child pornography.  I've been working this week on building a website for my future counseling practice, and that news made me pause and think about the value of personal integrity and excellence... about how God looks at the heart while people focus on the outward appearance, about substance vs. style, growth mindset vs. fixed, Godly wisdom vs. worldly wisdom, and true/earned intelligence vs. artificial intelligence.  We cannot fake our way to greatness, and we have to be careful about how we define and pursue success.

Character matters, especially in Christian leadership.  We would do well to remember that the name of Christ is tied to us, and some people will judge Him based on our behavior.  I'm in the small beginnings phase, but I'm stepping into the Christian leadership arena, and I need to seek and follow God with fierce loyalty, paying attention and cutting out pride and other sins that entangle my heart, and pressing forward with a confidence that is grounded in Christ!

That concludes my deep thoughts for today...

And here's a very random meme that made me laugh!

Hope you're having a great week!
Less than five weeks to the Finish Line... just keep running!!

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Confidence and Adverbs

I mentioned this book in my previous post.  It's full of practical communication advice, and I want to dive deeper on two points that stood out for me!

Jefferson suggests avoiding adverbs to communicate with more strength and clarity.

So, Honestly, Well, Actually, Rarely, Definitely, Clearly, Unfortunately, Sadly, Genuinely, Literally, Hopefully, Usually, Always, Eventually, Finally, Never, Very, Really, Entirely, Obviously, Exactly, Generally, Typically, etc.

I use adverbs ALL THE TIME in speech and in writing... I've definitely caught myself and corrected it multiple times this morning, and it tends to improve my point!  That's something I will continue working on moving forward.

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He also suggests changing "I believe..." or "I feel..." statements to "I'm confident..."  A simple shift with a big impact.  He says the more you hear yourself say that and the more others hear you say it, the more confident you will feel, and the more others will view you as a confident and competent person.

"I'm confident I can help you with that."  

"Thanks - if I need any help, I'm confident I can come to you."

"I'm confident God is at work here."

Okay, friends... I love you and believe in you,
and I'm confident in your ability to seek and follow God! ❤

Book Bag!

My last book post was February 6th.  I've completed 11 audiobooks since then! lol  Lots of long drives and very long jogs and fun cooking days, etc. (where I prefer listening to podcasts and audiobooks).  The HP book in this photo represents books 1-6:

1.  Here Be Dragons: Treading the Deep Waters of Motherhood, Mean Girls, and Generational Trauma by Melanie Shankle

Melanie and Sophie are my Enneagram 9 podcast besties.  They're funny and they love Jesus, and they've inspired about 500 random little purchases with their weekly "Five Favorites."  This book is my favorite of Melanie's books I've read so far.  It tells the vulnerable story of her complicated relationship with her Mom, a narcissist with a pattern of emotional abuse.  She eventually set a hard boundary there, and it helped her in parenting her daughter while she was being bullied by a clique of mean girls at school.  It has good advice for people with my conflict-avoidant personality on how to stand your ground and endure the backlash that comes with angering strong personalities, and she points to God as the source of our strength.

Quote:  "Sometimes, the way to get through something difficult is to keep your head up, keep your eyes on God, and walk through it even when you feel as though all you're doing is barely limping along. There are things He wants to forge in us that can be found ONLY along the hardest paths we walk."

2.  The Sacred Romance: Coming Home to the God Who Pursues Your Heart by John Eldredge and Brent Curtis

Finally reading this for the first time - it's Eldredge's first book, written with his best friend at the time who died shortly after it published.  It was a good reminder of the major themes and the minor themes and all the other things I love and respect about John Eldredge's world view.  His books have been a guide on my journey many times, pointing me closer to Jesus!

Quote:  “One of the most poisonous of all Satan’s whispers is simply, “Things will never change.” That lie kills expectation, trapping our heart forever in the present. To keep desire alive and flourishing, we must renew our vision for what lies ahead. Things will not always be like this. Jesus has promised to “make all things new.” Eye has not seen, ear has not heard all that God has in store for his lovers, which does not mean “we have no clue so don’t even try to imagine,” but rather, you cannot outdream God. Desire is kept alive by imagination, the antidote to resignation. We will need imagination, which is to say, we will need hope.”

3.  The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck

Ironically, my biggest takeaway from this book was the rubber band video, which was indirectly related to The Empowerment Dynamic and Drama Triangle she briefly mentions.  I am not aligned with Beck's theology and worldview and personal values, but I understand and respect how she arrived there.  She's not wrong about how easily we bend and blend to match the culture around us, and her idea of taking an Integrity Cleanse challenge (where you vow not to lie to anyone for a full month, including yourself) is a good one.  I also appreciate her story and her courage in standing against the abuse of power in her former church.

Quote:  “To be in integrity is to be one thing, whole and undivided... The extent to which people will defy nature to serve culture can be truly horrifying... If you don't walk your true path, you don't find your true people.  You end up in places you don't like, learning skills that don't fulfill you, adopting values and customs that feel wrong."

4.  The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More by Jefferson Fisher

Jefferson's first book - I enjoyed it, and I will definitely listen through it again!  And probably seek out specific chapters when I need them.  He has great practical advice on navigating difficult conversations with grace, emotional regulation, and clear communication.  He emphasizes the importance of humility and that our goal should be connection rather than "winning" the argument, and I love that!

Jefferson's rules for better conversations:  "Say it with control.  Say it with confidence.  Say it to connect."

5.  Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sanderg

A story of grief and loss and resilience and recovery, recommended by Emily when I told her I'm interested in grief counseling.  I loved and related to Sheryl's grief-induced anger and sharp wit, often toward people who were particularly insensitive or apathetic.  She's a Facebook employee, and parts of her story gave me hope that Mark Zuckerberg has grown in kindness and compassion, which I hope is true.  She goes into a lot of statistics that I believe helped her but didn't feel particularly helpful to me, but I very much appreciated her story and how she and her children moved forward with their grief, and I liked what she said about our ability to build and cultivate resilience!

Quotes:  "I couldn't understand when friends didn't ask me how I was.  I felt invisible, as if I were standing in front of them but they couldn't see me.  When someone shows up with a cast, we immediately inquire, 'What happened?' If your ankle gets shattered, people ask to hear the story.  If your life gets shattered, they don't." 

“We plant the seeds of resilience in the ways we process negative events.  After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P's can stunt recovery: (1) personalization - the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness - the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence - the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever... Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity - and we can build it.  It isn't about having a backbone. It's about strengthening the muscles around our backbone."

6-11.  Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (only book 7 remaining - I'm so ready for it!)

Round #7 or 8 for these audiobooks, I would assume... I really dive into the story and adore the characters, and I'm so happy to have these books on the Audible app to accompany me through long drives or walks!  The characters are richly detailed and relatable, and the overarching story itself is epic and full of metaphors that inspire me!!

Best Quote in the Half-Blood Prince:  “He understood at last what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him.  It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high.  Some people perhaps would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew -- and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents -- that there was all the difference in the world!” 

YES, J.K. Rowling!!!  Let's freaking go!  That's from the very end of Chapter 23 in book 6.  (Fun fact - my favorite chapter in book 6 is The White Tomb - I can't get through that one or Christmas on the Closed Ward or Beyond the Veil in book 5 without crying.)  Kristin finished the HP books last year and didn't mention it until one of our dinners this year - possibly bc she knew my excitement level would be extra! lolol  I was super thrilled to hear that and asked which book was her favorite.  She said she enjoyed them all, but she didn't really have a favorite...

Me, unironically:  "Yeah, I get that... they're all really good, and J.K. Rowling is just brilliant!  ...My favorites in order of preference are 573-1642!!  It used to be 1462, but book 6 has grown on me."  Lol true story.

That's all for today, gang!

❤ ❤ ❤

No Going Back

Happy Monday, friends and fam!  I hope your week is off to a good start.  I joined Jace and Kyndal for my first swim day of 2025 on Saturday... yay for Mom and Dad having a heated pool!!  I'm a little sore from the extra hills and speed training, so it felt really great to be in the water.  We had fun playing Marco Polo and Sharks and Minnows and watching J do backflips and cannonballs, then Mom and Dad and Rach and Tman joined us for a family dinner at Ted's - all fun!

The Wilsons and Mosses got together for dinner at the Moss manor that night, and getting this pic from Chet Lee made me happy!

Saturday morning was a 6-mile jog at the Station.  I didn't sleep well, so I was out there earlier than usual, and I was surprised and slightly concerned to see several Moore Police vehicles and policemen standing outside.  I hesitantly approached and asked one of them what was going on, and I learned that it was testing day for the Police Academy... so that was pretty fun!  They were running hard drills and various training exercises and had a drone filming it overhead, and it all made the run far more interesting/fun!  I cheered them on, partly in my head and partly whilst they were running circles around me... and of course, I still stopped to enjoy the flowering trees, as well! =)

Thus far (in all of life and particularly in the 75-Soft challenge), my adventures in dating have been a lot of effort with very little to show for it.  Over the years, I've sincerely tried friend setups, eHarmony, Match, Christian Mingle, Facebook dating, Bumble, Tawkify, and I'm currently trying Hinge.  At this age, I'm mostly finding panicked divorcees (or separated men pretending to be divorced) who are in a rush to find a replacement wife but aren't emotionally healed or ready to be dating again... or incredibly passive singles who are content to play video games in their spare time while messaging endlessly without taking action or asking anyone out and are "still figuring out their relationship type" in their mid-40s. #massiveeyeroll  There are a plethora of men who are too aggressive or too passive, but it only takes one normal, driven, mature man of God, so I'm holding onto hope for that!  And enlisting friends in this endeavor.  (So if you know me well and read this blog, consider this permission to play matchmaker if any good single men come to mind!)

I know precious little about it, but the Jaceman follows Paul Cuffaro on YouTube and was excited to get to talk to him on the phone this weekend, so I'm excited that he's excited!  He also had his friend TJ over to spend the night during Spring Break, and this = them checking out the new fish tank! =)

Me and my best couple franz! lol  (In my head, that's to the tune of Marshall's "Now that we're best couple friends" song on HIMYM)  I made a Tulsa trip on Sunday and joined the Wilsons and Shoemakers for Los Cabos lunch + the kids playing at the new Riverwalk playground + Marble Slab! =)  PS These sunglasses are incredibly reflective.  I meant to do a fun pic with the NYC skyline showing in them... maybe I'll find something like that in Colorado!

The kids all hopped into this canoe together... cuteness!

I got to sit by Miss Parker Elizabeth herself - one month before her 4th birthday and the much-anticipated Belle party!  It was good to chat with everyone and catch up on all that's new and changing in the Shoemakers lives!  *Happy 32nd Birthday to Mark Anthony today!!!

Then I went for a walk at the Addison Creek trail, my potential future neighborhood with a delightful tree-named street. =)

And on my way home, I stopped by Rachael's house... check out her cute front door hanger for Spring!  And her massive textbooks for the medical coding classes - yikes!!

I was there to bring her my graduation cap, as she's going to decorate it up for me!  Jaceman had to try it on first, of course! lol

In case you missed it, I'm going for my PhD at CCU starting this summer... Chettles talked about my decision to go back to school in 2022 being the first domino that started a line of things falling into place as I moved forward, and how this path would likely mirror that.  I think it's true - that God will open the right doors as I continue to step forward, and that the path will become clear one small step at a time.  Ever since I read Hero on a Mission and decided to set and pursue meaningful life goals, something inside me has gradually changed and transformed.  I'm realizing lately that there's no going back to a life of glorifying comfort and following the crowd and passively waiting on doors to open for me.  I'm taking action and my desire to lead and build and empower others is growing.  This path is decidedly harder and requires more courage and strength from me, but it's infinitely better in both the process and the outcomes!  In every area where I have made progress or gained momentum, I don't want to go back.  I want to hold on to what I've learned and keep growing and moving forward!  So cheers to living with purpose, passion, and perseverance - to believing my life can make a difference and "impact the world with grace and truth!!" #maximumeffort 

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