Strong, Steadfast, and Immovable

Okay, I'm only two sessions in, but so freaking happy about working with Emily, my new counselor and life coach!  She gave me some journaling homework that opened up great conversations... and she is really helping me to reframe my fear and self-doubt and BELIEVE that there is a healthy and balanced path forward here.  I have felt worried about the extremes on both ends of the spectrum - deeply fearing a public failure to lose weight, and simultaneously fearing the negative side effects of super-rapid weight loss.

I talked about the value of intuitive eating, the inherent dangers of being super restrictive, my desire for lasting health changes over dramatic results that won't last, and the idea that no food should be labeled always good or always bad.  I was so encouraged by hearing her mirror my perspective and affirm my intuition about the emotional and physical dangers of super-rapid weight loss expectations... and overall, I feel like I'm standing on more solid ground now, both mentally and physically!

• My goal is to make steady, sustainable changes that will last for years... NOT to lose the maximum amount of weight possible in six months and then feel triggered to repeat a familiar restrict/binge cycle ad nauseum.
• My goal is lasting weight loss and health, and if it takes me a year+ rather than six months to reach a good healthy weight, that is a victory NOT a failure.
• I want to focus more on being on a healthy trajectory and NOT stress about hitting certain scale numbers on certain dates.  
• I want to focus more on getting stronger and training for my goal races, NOT on limiting myself to 200-500 calories of actual food after two protein shakes.
• I want to stay steady and gradually grow in viewing myself as a healthy person and NOT focus so much on how others view me and/or my results.
• I want to focus on being really attentive to my physical hunger/fullness cues, stopping when I am full (which will graciously come faster now), and making healthier food choices... but NOT on tracking every calorie and strictly avoiding most carbs and sugars.

We talked about the need to detach myself from the opinions of others, annnnnd we'll continue to work on that, among other therapy goals.  But I believe there is a healthy path forward for me, and I am so grateful for that hope and to be defining (Lindsey's Version) of that more clearly!  

Current audiobook.

I've been in a sinking panic mode for a bit, stressing and obsessing about the calories and the BMI and the scale numbers and feeling the intense pressure of crazy-high expectations and rigid dieting standards.  I am jumping ship and changing vessels today... intuitive eating and pursuing health and strength from a place of peace... it was the original plan and the reason I felt so hopeful, and it's a much healthier and more grace-filled trajectory moving forward, even if my physical results come a little slower.  Not changing the goal, but changing the system.  Yay, therapy.  And yay, Jesus!!  Cheers! lol

Stand firm and do not be shaken.  Be steadfast.  Be strong and immovable!  Always excel in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Cor. 15:58) ❤