On Being Human

So I passed the National Counselor Exam yesterday. ❤

"Mini-wave in celebration of me!!" (-Chandler Bing)

This is the counseling equivalent of a lawyer passing the Bar exam, and I passed with a great score on the NCE (required to move toward the LPC licensure) and the CPCE (required to graduate CCU).  Still, I didn't feel as excited as I'd expected.  I'm feeling uncertainty about what is ahead, fear of failure, and a sense of confusion and isolation in figuring all of this out.

So I'm taking a minute here to separate the light from the dark -- to remind myself that I have an enemy who loves to destroy important milestones... and that God has given me a sound mind and power and self-control, not a spirit of fear.  I am not on my own - God is with me, and He has a plan mapped out, and He knows how to prosper me and give me hope and a future.  

I despise feeling messy, and I have been unfairly frustrated with myself for how emotionally messy this year has been.  So I'm reminding myself today that life is messy - being human is messy and hard and humbling and complicated - no one gets out unscathed.  It's completely normal to have ups and downs and for our motivation and confidence to ebb and flow.  Habit change, emotional regulation, and genuinely changing the way we view ourselves... these things are challenging for everyone with a sincere desire to improve!!  They are *not* impossible, and "the hard is what makes it great."  It's okay to be misunderstood, to not have it all together, to have layered emotions and a complex backstory.  We are not helpless or hopeless, and it's okay/expected that change is not easy or natural.  I am human and imperfect, and there is abundant grace for that.  There is forgiveness and mercy to cover my sin and selfish choices and trauma responses and defense mechanisms.  God knows me well and loves me anyway.  I am safe.  God has not given up on me, and He knows that whatever progress I make here will be partial and incomplete... I will never arrive at perfection this side of heaven, and that's actually a comforting thought for me right now.  Releasing the pressure and perfectionism, drawing near to God, and acknowledging and holding onto good progress.

Time for moving forward, editing how I see myself, upgrading and expanding my identity to allow for more hope and change!

In summary, it's okay to be human.  In case no one else tells you today, let me remind you that I love you and I believe in you.  And I believe that however messy and imperfect things may feel today, our choices matter, and there is more beauty and goodness ahead for us! ❤

❤ ❤ ❤