This post holds some rambling thoughts - just go with it. lol
What a gift this week has been. Having a holiday fall on my birthday, then two unexpected days off thanks to the icy roads and below-freezing temps. I actually got ready for work both days... started the drive yesterday morning and my car spun a bit in my neighborhood, then I texted Judge that I was taking the day off since nothing needed a record. They ended up closing the courthouse at 11am. Today, they opened at noon for reasons unknown, but our afternoon hearing was continued, so Judge told me not to worry about coming in. Gift!! I'm very grateful for a little extra downtime and rest, along with the brownies I baked yesterday, because snow days just call for baking! lol
Currently blogging and watching About Time -- so many poignant lines that make you think about what matters most in life -- a total treasure ever since I sobbed my way through the ending in theaters in November 2013. ❤
Anyway, here's a few pics from my birthday dinner with the fam on Monday -- we went to Ted's and had bundtinis for dessert to celebrate our February birthdays (me, Jace Michael, and Rach)!
Rachael made me this heartfelt card - makes me laugh that this is a real verse! lol
The fam. ❤
Jaceman making me laugh with the eyebrow action! lol
Miss K finally updated her FB profile pic to this one from a volleyball tournament. Still not a face-forward smiling pic, but better than the shadowy one she had before. lol
Making some major progress in my own therapy lately -- really taking the time to do the homework matters. And yes to being gentle with ourselves.
I kinda feel this one right now. lol
Tate Haywood after losing two teeth last week... he apparently lost the remaining top front tooth today! =)
Three of my favorite men in the world. And baby Henry, who I'm confident will grow to be a great man in his time! ❤
Melanie's new book released yesterday. I'm about 75% of the way through the audiobook already, and it's been excellent -- it's her story of growing up with an abusive, narcissistic mother and eventually finding healing and setting difficult boundaries as an adult, then raising a wonderful, strong daughter -- I love her and her whole family more than you would think I could having never met them in person! Yay, Caroline and Melanie and Perry!!

Well, this is 41. It's off to a slightly painful and slow beginning, but I am getting back up, and I'm believing it will be a beautiful year ahead! Do I have loads of unresolved questions about what the future holds? Yes, but that is not unique to me. And what I do know is that God is good and He sees me and cares about me, AND although life has knocked me down sometimes, I'm resilient, I am not alone, I am loved, God is never giving up on me, and I am not giving up on myself or on God and His good plan for me. I will keep adapting and learning and growing and moving forward. From my birthday to today, I have had a few important conversations with friends, I've accepted an invitation to interview for CCU's doctoral program on March 7th, I've interviewed for a therapist job and accepted a second interview for Friday, I've done several at-home workouts to stay on track with my training, I've given online dating another shot, and I've worked out a few mini-goals for the coming months.... 
Tomorrow will be 78 days away from my CCU graduation ceremony, and I will be starting "75 Soft" - with 3 days off thrown in there. It obviously won't all be perfect, but I want to feel proud of this chart when I hit graduation day. For the sake of accountability, my five areas of focus will be:
- Healthy eating and tracking (2 protein shakes + veggies daily and staying in my weekly points range - focusing on building consistent patterns)
- Drinking more water (6 bottles a day - doable, but it requires more intentionality and focus post-surgery)
- Continuing the marathon training workout schedule (which definitely ramps up here in the second half)
- Averaging 10 pages a day of a real live actual book (I have two that don't come in audiobook format that I would love to finish)
- Online dating - either messaging with someone (hopefully) or liking 2 new profiles daily, any online dating site -- (sticking with that for 75 days may feel like the biggest challenge here, but I'm doing my very best not to personalize things too early and perceive rejection that isn't there AND to lean into the worthy-of-love identity I want to build up rather than the unchosen/potentially unworthy identity I've become too familiar with)
In all of life, honestly, I want to focus on the new identity I desire to build rather than the old story I want to release... allowing God to bring more healing and trusting Him to do something brand new (2 Corinthians 5:17)! I feel this deeply, and I'll probably write more on it later, but I want to get serious about abiding in Christ and becoming more whole and holy through God's love (Ephesians 1:4). ❤
Okay, shifting gears, today's 3-mile Wednesday walk was not quite as fun as walking with Kristin at The Station! I used my lovely walking pad along with an actual walker for handrails (with weights in front of it to keep it from moving). lol I so feel like I'm going to fall if there's nothing to hold on to - this was a random makeshift fix idea from a Peloton FB group, but it worked, so that's a Wednesday win!
This post is full of randomness!! Conclusion: This 2-day work week feels like a lovely birth-week blessing! =) I am getting back up and doing my best to press into the abundant life God designed for me. I'm determined to show up and do the work that needs to be done, confident that God has good things in store! I love and value you, and I believe God also has good things in store for you as you show up and do the work that needs to be done!! ❤
Know your worth. Show up. Do the work.
❤❤❤