Happy Photo Friday, friends and fam!!! I'm covering the office phones, but it's been nice and quiet on this last day of Spring Break. After filing four this afternoon, I'm caught up on transcripts for this brief moment. It's a lovely Spring weekend ahead, and I just officially accepted CCU's offer of admission and registered for the summer residency course (hence my 3-21 post title to commemorate that).
I joined the Whitakers for an early lunch at the Moore Chick-fil-A... always fun to see the boys and hear about what's new in their world! They told me about the candy barrel store and other fun places they visited in Fort Worth, about Wesson losing a tooth, and Kristin and I caught up on life a bit! Here's our happy group pic after lunch! ❤
I tried the Pineapple Dragonfruit lemonade... probably won't get it again, but I had to snap a pic with the delightful pink color! On the right is the CFA wall art and Nash contemplating destroying his cup and lid... "I wanna break this cup so bad!" lolol #thingsiveneverthought #boysarefunny
The Bible App's verse for today... I'm grateful for a solid friend group that sharpens and strengthens me!! ❤
I feel hopeful and excited right now... with a sense of peace that God has everything under control, and He will continue to work things out for me. I've looked into the class schedule for the next three years, and the internships don't begin until 2027. I'm likely to move back to Tulsa at that point so that I'll be there for whatever internship opportunities I find. In the meantime, I may do a combination of court reporting and counseling work with Oak Haven, where I can see clients virtually and book nights and weekend sessions as needed. I'm grateful for the social media break for Lent - it's good timing and the reduced screen time has been good for my soul!
As a single woman, I sometimes feel like I'm winning the bronze medal in life no matter what I accomplish. But I'm reframing that. In the Olympics, certain sports are more popular than others - like figure skating vs. curling. In life as a Christian woman in Oklahoma, the most popular path would certainly be marriage and family - many of my friends have gold medals there, and I applaud their success and love seeing it! That particular event is off to a delayed start for me, but I'm doing my part, and I believe God has good things in store. And in the meantime, I'm training in some areas and winning gold in other areas, and I'm going to celebrate all of that!
Okay, I could've gone much longer on that, but lucky for you, my groceries are being delivered, so I'm off to bring them inside! lol Happy Friday, and hope you have a fantastic weekend ahead!!
“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.)" ~2 Timothy 3:1-7
I haven’t talked about it often, but that last verse sometimes scares me. The first time I heard it in a Bible study years ago, I remember feeling a deep, sinking discomfort, as if the words were aimed directly at me. (Or maybe it was just the enemy whispering lies - it definitely felt more like shame/condemnation than Spirit-led conviction.) Different translations describe these women as weak, gullible, silly, or weak-minded. They are “always studying, learning, and listening to anybody who will teach them, but never able to come to the full knowledge of the truth.”
“They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.”
Other versions say:
—“Having a form of godliness but denying its power.”
— “They will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power.”
Always learning, but never arriving at the truth. Putting on a good show, yet continually giving in to sinful desires, living without the dynamic anointing of God.
Let it not be me, Jesus.
I want to walk in sincere repentance and integrity, embracing the acceptance, love, grace, wisdom, and fierce authority and power of God.
* * * * * * *
Several aspects of my life feel unfinished right now, and it’s easy to focus on what’s still undone instead of the good things currently unfolding. Waiting can feel like being stuck, but unfinished means I’m still growing. (And there’s a big difference between continually growing in faith and knowledge, moving toward deeper truth, vs. chasing new teachings and leaving myself open to deception. Studying these verses a bit today actually brought more clarity and comfort.)
A series of cross-references led me to this passage, which I want to meditate on:
“And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the Head over every ruler and authority.” ~Colossians 2:6-10
This post is deep and a little scattered, but the firm reminder that I am COMPLETE in Christ was exactly what I needed in this season.
I recently talked with Emily about how much I long for acceptance, how it often feels just out of reach, like something I have to earn or maintain in relationships. We talked about how that acceptance has to start from within, with loving myself and extending grace to others. #letthem But honestly, it goes deeper than that...
It begins with abiding in Christ’s love and acceptance. Leeeeaning into the truth that I am already complete — whole and enough — in Him. Right here, today. Not when I cross the finish line. Not if/when I have the devoted love of a boyfriend or husband. Not if/when a child calls me "Mom" for the first time. Not if/when I earn a PhD, land a counseling job, publish a book, or achieve my ideal body weight. Not through any certain platform, title, or role.
Yes, my life goals matter, but I don't want to feel like I'm grasping for people’s acceptance. My inner strength and foundation must be centered in Christ. (All other ground is sinking sand.) I feel this right now, and I want to refocus my heart here. Searching God's Word and seeking the direct voice of Jesus over any human teaching. Being more rooted and grounded in His love and acceptance, believing down to my very core that I am “complete through my union with Christ, who is the Head over every ruler and authority.”
The Queen of Random Information here, letting you all know today is my 15,000th day on earth, which just popped up on the calendar reminder I set for myself a few years ago. lol Hooray for Day 15,000!! ❤
I actually wrote a post for Day 10,000 (HERE) back in 2011. It fell right in between our OKC road trip to celebrate Malori's birthday and me being the Maid of Honor at Rachael's wedding. Needless to say, a lot has changed over time, and every season God gives us is a gift! I appreciate that this falls on a relatively ordinary day, and I like the reminder that our days are numbered and Every Second Counts. I could go on and on about it, but I'll spare you that. I am very grateful for the people who have stayed the course with me, and I'm grateful for the daily grace of God, and I'm praying for a renewed sense of God-given hope, clarity, and purpose as I continue to move forward!!
"I figure life's a gift, and I don't intend on wasting it. You never know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you, to make each day count." -Jack Dawson (Rest in Peace)
Cheers! lol
45 days from now, I will run the OKC Memorial Marathon. I'm pushing myself harder for these final 7 weeks of training - already feeling sore from that, but I'm excited about putting more heart into it! I hope the same holds true for you in whatever goal you are pursuing in this season!!
Okay then, that's really all for this post. I love you and believe in you, and Jesus does too!!
Okay, I legit need to complete three transcripts and I'm struggling to get out of holiday mode (eating all the things and procrastinating on all the work), so I've deleted FB and Instagram from my phone for at least the remainder of this week, and this will be the last blog post I write from work (started it yesterday and just need to finish and publish it this morning).
I went to see Mufasa with Rach and J&K at Flix yesterday afternoon - enjoyed the movie more than I expected, and it was fun times hanging out with the Parrish crew!! ❤
Saturday was Kyndal's volleyball tournament at UCO! I chatted with Rach and laughed about her and Mom's intensity at all sporting events! It makes me happy just to watch the team camaraderie, and I don't care deeply if they win or lose, outside of wanting K-Faith to enjoy it and do her best! lol
I believe this used to be a pile of snow in the corner of the parking lot at Lake Hefner... either way, the standing water is new, and it made me happy to see a couple ducks hopping in for a swim on Saturday afternoon! lol
In sad news, presh Ella "Bellsy" is now in Heaven... Friday night, David texted me that they had to put her to sleep after she injured her back and was partially paralyzed... sadness. Sam-puffins is doing well and will be 12 in October. They've moved to Texas, so it's been a while since I've seen the best girlfranz or heard from David, but I'm glad to know Sammich has other small dog friends to play with now, and I'm grateful Bellsy didn't suffer long. She was the best girlfran and the sweetest Pom puppy, and I so look forward to seeing her smiley little fluffy self again in Heaven (along with Rylee and Reagan and Kelsey and more)!!
❤❤❤
10-24-2013 to 1-09-2025
Rest in Peace Ella Belle, aka "Bellsy"
❤❤❤
Just inserting something random that made me laugh! =)
Huzzah for snow days and these impressive snowmen by the Wilson fam!!
Katherine Claire living it up at Disneyland - Sarah said they had a great road trip, and she highly recommends a Disneyland visit!
My fav niece and nephew enjoying CHA's Spirit Week!! (Kyn and Dylan as refs for Duo Day + J&K on Cowboy/Cowgirl Day)
Happy Birthday to Michelle today! ❤
This = a fun new headband holder from Mom - yay! To be honest, I like what my headband collection says about me. lol Chet calls this dynamic "visually loud," but I'm going with "sparkly and vibrant!" =) ❤
Shifting to a more difficult and important topic, a fellow CHA alumni and FB friend is on my heart today. She has overcome several challenges and lived with resilient strength, so I've paid attention to her story. She shared a beautiful, joyful post on January 1st about how she couldn't be more grateful for her relationships and felt like she had everything she'd ever dreamt of at her fingertips... only three days later, she was grieving her boyfriend's death by suicide. I do not know him or his family, and I do not know her well at this stage of life. Still, even seeing this from a distance had a sharp impact on me. The juxtaposition of her New Year's Day post to the heartbroken tribute posts and an obituary encouraging donations to mental health foundations and suicide prevention... it's tragic in so many ways, and I'm praying for her and her boys and his family and everyone directly affected in the aftermath of his choice.
With that context in mind, I am reminding myself (and you) to choose life in big and small ways, to draw near to God, to engage and be present with others, to set and work toward goals that mean something to you, to dwell on the ways you belong and how you can add value to the lives around you (rather than dwelling on how you don't fit in or don't really matter to others). The enemy is always speaking, but so is Jesus, and we get to choose which voice we listen to and get to know and prioritize.
As someone who has struggled with the darkness of suicidal thoughts MANY years ago, and as a single woman who is very familiar with playing the third-wheel role and being included in other people's family dynamics and hanging out with older and/or younger generations, I have thought about all of this a lot. The truth is, on any given day and in any group setting, you can dwell on how you don't really fit in and make yourself feel like the outcast or the odd man out... you can choose to withdraw and dissociate and disengage and isolate and feel invisible... OR you can intentionally choose belonging and decide to be seen, to contribute to the conversation, to be genuine and vibrant and joyful, to learn from others and add value, to believe you are wanted and loved by the people surrounding you. Relationships matter, and YOU matter - your life, your story, your talents, your God-given gifts, your opinions and desires - they matter. When other people aren't around, you can choose to feel alone or to connect with God and believe He is always present with you - there's a huge difference in how you will feel. I want to be a beacon for choosing life and hope and light, for reaching out every time you need help! Choose to notice the details, to care about others, to celebrate goodness wherever you see it. You really can step up and speak up and choose to belong. As God's children, none of us are ever fully "at home" outside of Heaven, and everyone wants good company for the journey until we get there! Single or dating or married, you can always choose community and belonging, and it's worth it!!
Praying we all embrace the abundant love and support that's available for us, and intentionally love and support others in return!! ❤
Seeing this was a good reminder for me as I step back from the Tulsa-move plan and prayerfullywait on what God has planned for me next. To be here now, fully present and alive and wholehearted. (Annnnd getting back to work. lol)
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." ~Psalm 19:14
Our thoughts and words always have a ripple effect, for better or worse. What we focus on expands, so here's my "4th Quarter Focus" Power Thoughts for 2024, something I'll listen to and/or speak out loud every morning to create a strong ripple effect of positive momentum and hope!!
Surprise, surprise (to no one) - I'm on here more! lol
Studying is overrated. Just kidding - but breaks are lovely.
Today marks 3 months post surgery - a milestone worth celebrating!! I'm currently down 58 pounds and 11 BMI points, tapering down on blood pressure pills, and feeling more energy and confidence! This has by no means been a smooth or perfect journey, as those who follow me here know pretty well. But over the course of three months, I have actually come a long way. I am working with Emily (my counselor/coach) on building better mindsets and habits and systems, untangling from old shame patterns, and processing new things that come up in real time. I feel proud of the internal growth and deeply grateful to be seeing real progress on and off the scale!! ❤
Blossom patient #7 on June 7th - still makes me happy! ❤
Today was also the OSU game with Chet and Karli - fun times - more on that in a later post!
Cheesy as it may seem, this was a timely meme for me... I LOVE that it's about butterflies (the most well-known metaphor for transformation from the lowly caterpillar to beautiful butterfly - but they can still feel fragile and need shelter and rest).
In the midst of big decisions and major studying (and fun with family and friends), I find myself thinking about spiritual warfare. Our spiritual enemy knows our weaknesses and shame points, and he loves to target them. I feel pretty aware of the main limiting beliefs I've wrestled with... and I have worked hard over the years to reprogram those core beliefs with God's truth and wisdom, but Satan has simultaneously worked hard to reinforce them through conflict, rejection, disengagement, and disinterest. Over and over and over. His schemes and patterns are predictable enough that we should expect it and be prepared for it, but most of us don't do a great job with that...
It does help to step back and remember that he is our real enemy - that we are never wrestling or warring with flesh and blood (fellow flawed human beings), but with dark principalities and powers genuinely seeking to divide and destroy us, so having "eyes to see" those attacks and having a heart to align our thoughts with Christ is VITAL.
Positive change is fun, but any change is hard work. Humans naturally resist it. I have a ways to go, but even now, my mind has not really caught up with the physical changes, and it's all happening in the middle of a 3-year stretch that has held more life change and big, courageous decisions than any other period in my personal history. And now I'm ramping up to a potential career transition sometime in the near future, which feels daunting. Mostly good things, but it's been a lot in a relatively short time frame, and I tend to be a slow processor. The enemy would love nothing more than to convince me that none of these changes I've made really matter and that I will never really matter without a husband and/or family. The one thing I know in the depths of my spirit to be true is that I cannot take that bait right now.
In this season where my confidence and growth feel fragile and my counselor-voice is just beginning to have more power and influence, the enemy would love to convince me to stay quiet, to believe my story is uninteresting, that I'm no good at relationships, and that I will always struggle to command respect and engagement. Choosing wisdom and alignment with Christ is essential.
"I was playing in the beginning; the mood all changed." ;-)
For real, though, I feel this intensely right now. He attacks each of us in the seasons/areas of life where we are most vulnerable - I see that in my life and in others' - and we cannot afford to casually give him more ground. We have to armor up and fight back with truth - for ourselves and for the people God puts in our lives and for the cloud of witnesses cheering us on from Heaven. So I'm reminding myself today that I am enough just as I am right here (in my quiet nursery room with no baby) - I am loved and seen and chosen by God - and I'm taking a minute to feel that as a spiritual reality, not just a hollow platitude. My priorities and my life timeline are not set by the world, and God has a creative plan and a purposeful design for my future. My life has God-ordained meaning, and all the work I have put in lately matters - it matters. God wastes nothing - the good, the bad, the painful, the embarrassing - He uses it all for our good and His glory. There are better things ahead here on earth. There are better things ahead for us in Heaven.
There are better things ahead.
Forgetting what lies behind, I am pressing forward.
"Communication is about what is received, not what is intended. If there is a gap between what you are saying and what they are hearing, you have to find a new way to say it." ~James Clear
Happy Saturday, friends and fam, and Happy Half-Birthday to me!! ❤ ;-) Hard to believe it's already been six months since my 40th birthday (blog HERE).
So I recently spoke with a friend from CCU, a mom of seven, answering a few questions about my dating life and my desire to be a mom. As I shared the short version of my story, I realized it was filled with compounded pain and disappointment, and I could feel intense pity coming from her. That response was unsettling for me, but if I'm being honest, I was probably seeing my own self-pity reflected back... rooted in some old beliefs and ungrounded feelings of inferiority due to my singleness and childlessness. There are so many wonderful things God is doing in my life, but I wasn't focusing on that or voicing them clearly, so this reminded me to be more intentional about how I frame my identity and articulate my own story!
My experience this summer also reinforced this idea. Initially, I was prepared to communicate my weight-loss surgery decision in a very defensive and guarded manner, anticipating a judgmental response. That was a blind spot for me, but after a timely conversation with Chet Lee and hearing Mel Robbins' "Drop the Sword" lesson, my perspective changed! When I confidently shared my decision with an expectation of support, I received genuine support and felt greater peace. Conversely, had I publicly shared that original defensive post, I would have likely faced mixed feedback and growing insecurity. Self-protection does us no favors.
God tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue - and out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Our core beliefs and our word choices matter deeply in how we perceive ourselves and in how we portray God to others. The gap between what I say and what others hear highlights the need to find a better way to communicate. This isn’t about controlling the narrative or protecting my image, but about clearly communicating God's work in my life in an honest way that glorifies Him! *I'm never responsible for how others respond, but I AM very responsible for my beliefs and how I communicate them. Self-pity and low self-worth do not honor God. It's easier said than done, but I want to be so full of Christ's love and confident hope that I naturally view/frame my story as not lacking anything essential. ("No good thing will He withhold from those who walk with integrity.") I want to leave people who care for me feeling hopeful and joyful when I share my story, aligning my heart with Christ's heart for me and ensuring that His redemptive truth shines through, even in darker seasons.
2025 will likely be the year I write and publish my first book, so I'm thinking more deeply about the way I internally narrate my own life. My goal is to write with courage and vulnerability... while emphasizing that any pain and challenges I have faced are the minor themes in my story, where the major themes are deep love, redemptive hope, and growing faith in God's power and abundant goodness!! ❤
"You lead me in the path of LIFE. You will fill me with abundant JOY in Your presence, with the sweetness of VICTORY at Your right hand." ~Psalm 16:11
Dearest Friends and Family,
Happy 7-7!! ❤ My surgery was exactly one month ago, and I am grateful for every bit of kindness, love, and support I have received from those who care about me. Physically, I am grateful to say I’m recovering well and my incisions are almost fully healed. I’m beginning to strength train and preparing to start Half-Marathon training a couple weeks from now!
Mentally and spiritually, my recovery is just beginning. Honestly, I should have been wise enough to expect the storm of spiritual warfare that hit just when I was most vulnerable post-op. But in the same way I tend to be oblivious to checking the Weather app until a torrential downpour hits, I did not armor-up or prepare myself well for the enemy's attacks in this season. I am smart and driven and intentional, and I'm not crazy or unwilling to put in effort... but I have been struck by paralyzing fear along with sincere confusion about how to move forward. And even as I write that, I am hearing 2 Timothy 1:7 in my mind - that God in His goodness has not given me a spirit of fear, but of POWER, and of LOVE, and a SOUND (clear and peaceful) MIND. This fear and confusion and instability are not rooted in Him.
I have authority over the enemy, and I can separate the light from the darkness. I have a God who leads me forward "in the path of life." Who brings me abundant joy in His presence. And who holds the sweetness of victory and peace in His right hand. Staying close to Him is essential.
On this one-month mark, I've been thinking purposefully about the path ahead of me. And praying over it on my silent “mindfulness walk" tonight. Then discussing it with my attentive and caring friend, Chet, who called to check in with accountability and encouragement.
God’s path of life starts with me breaking agreements and taking back my God-given authority... embracing the courage it took to start this whole journey, and thanking God for the solid foundation that upholds a safe refuge where I can withstand this storm (Mt. 7:24-25). ❤
Moving forward with better boundaries, I am committing to drop the sword of suspicion and trust and follow the medical advice: To lead with protein, incorporate more vegetables and fiber, and be very intentional about making wise food choices over the six months ahead! I am removing the mental "finish line" of hitting a certain weight number and then being "done." My game plan is to persevere with the doctor-recommended nutrition advice for the next six months while paying close attention to physical hunger and fullness cues… then in the new year (if it continues to align with God's will), I will revisit the book I just read and thoughtfully move into an intuitive eating approach with food, which seems like the best path forward for long-term mental and physical health! I'm also committing to a 10-minute "vision-walk" or 10 minutes of journaling every morning where I will pray over these things and set my focus for the day ahead of me, a valuable and relatively simple habit that I've started this week with Launch... which continues to be an exceptional and well-timed tool for me!! ❤
This = a pic after our family dinner at Clark Crew BBQ tonight!
The boys all messing with each other whilst Rach and Kyndal smile normally. lol
It's been a really fun long weekend, which I will recap more tomorrow!
Song for Today = Trust in God by Elevation Worship
This is song #1 on the "Intention Setting" Peloton walk, and I adore it now... Elevation worship music feels especially anointed to me!
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.
He's been my fourth man in the fire time after time...
Perfect submission, all is at rest.
I know the Author of tomorrow has ordered my steps...
I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered.
Month #1 has been humbling and surprisingly hard and messy at times... focused mostly on physical recovery + regaining my footing mentally and spiritually. I was knocked down and disoriented, and the struggle to get back up and stand firm has been real - I feel afraid even now, but more aware of the warfare behind that fear, and more empowered to fight back.
Month #2 will be about reclaiming authority in Christ + prioritizing protein + rebuilding strength in mind, body, and spirit! I am pressing into my support system and the stability and strength that are mine in Christ. Together, we really can do hard things!
God alone holds the key to the path of life and the sweetness of victory.
And I believe He is helping me to write a beautiful new chapter, even if the first draft looks a bit messy!
“I trust in God my Savior, the One who will never fail.” ❤
.png)
