Final Thoughts and Thank Yous.

My lengthy FB video finally uploaded, so I added it to this post, but here's the written recap with shout-outs to people who influenced and impacted my life this year!

• Judge Brockman - Thanks for being kind and supporting me as I pursue my passion for counseling, being very flexible with my internship schedule, and giving me your awesome parking spot during these winter months!
• Debra Conley and Amy Huesman - Thank you for investing in me and for being amazing supervisors who inspire me to learn and grow and potentially supervise aspiring counselors and counselor candidates in the future! 
• My Family - I love you, and I’m so grateful for your support and for our weekly family dinners and fun game nights. I promise to continue to prioritize you when I move back to Tulsa!
• Kristin Michelle - Thank you for being an exceptional close friend and walking buddy, and for sincerely offering to be a full-time caregiver for my child had the adoption or pregnancy plan worked out. I am infinitely grateful and promised to continue to prioritize you and our relationship!
• Sarah Elizabeth - Thankful for your friendship and your willingness to stick it out and have difficult conversations!  Hope you and your fam are enjoying the road trip and that Katherine Claire is feeling better!!
• Weatherfords and Wilsons - Thank you for consistently including me and making time for me, for allowing me to join your family trip to Disney World this year, and for making me feel like part of your family!  Thanks to Chet and Karli for all they did in planning my 40th birthday surprise party, and for the life-changing conversation on May 18th!
• Miss Parker Elizabeth - Thanks for being excited to sit with me, for being my mini BFF and the cutest person I know, as evidenced by my 565 photos of you from this year!
• Chet Lee - In so many ways, I'm a better person for knowing you.  Thank you for being a friend who challenges me, believes the best in me, and makes me want to be a better person! 
• Kristin Renée - Thanks for being a trustworthy friend I can count on for wise, Biblical counsel, solid priorities, and sincere encouragement!
• Rachael LaJo - I love that we’ve gotten closer over the past year - let's keep that going!  Thanks for sharing your closet with me and cheering me on and being a bright and fun part of my life!
• Jace Michael - Thank you for FaceTime calling to check in on me every day during the first few weeks when you heard I would be having surgery. I love your passion for life, and I'm excited that you’re loving the new fish tank! 
• Kyndal Faith - Thanks for being a fun road trip buddy and an entertaining and fun niece.  I love hanging out with you and hearing your thoughts on life! 
• Triston Michael - I’ve loved getting closer to you, and I’m excited about 2025 being a year of pressing into your God-given purpose!
• Mel Robbins, John Eldredge, Melanie Shankle, Sophie Hudson, Annie F. Downs, Eddie Kaufholz, Steven Furtick, Christine Caine, Craig Groeschel, Donald Miller, James Clear, Robin Arzon, Kirsten Ferguson, and Rebecca Kennedy - Thanks for speaking strong words of life and hope and encouragement into my life in 2024, drawing me closer to God and to the woman I want to be!
• JESUS - Thank you for directing me and guiding me in big and small ways, for being with me and for me, for working all things together for my good!  As I step toward a counseling career, I can see so clearly how every piece of my story matters and shapes my current ability to relate and empathize and counsel others. 
• Blog Readers - If you're not directly mentioned above, then I'm kinda surprised you're here. lol  But either way, thank you for reading and caring about my life!  I love you and believe in you, and I am praying you have a wonderful new year ahead!!

Happy New Year's Eve!  My 2024 theme was "Every Second Counts," and it has proven true in this eventful year of growth and change.  Soon, I'm off to watch the Forks episode of The Bear while baking some Pioneer Woman Apple Dumplings for Mom and I (and maybe Kristin) to enjoy whilst taking down Christmas stuff tomorrow.  This is the latest I've ever had my tree up, but I love that I'll get to enjoy the sparkling lights of the Christmas tree for one final night in this home on this New Year's Eve!! ❤

FINAL THOUGHTS:  The verse God put on my heart for the coming year is Luke 10:41-42, where Jesus is talking to Martha and tells her:  

"You are worried and upset over all these details, but only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen what is best, and it will not be taken away from her."  

I want to choose what is best - to prioritize being present and engaged and attuned in my relationship with God and my counseling work and my core relationships with friends and family.  Not to let busywork or image-based details or the opinions/decisions of other people cloud my vision and stress me out.  To pursue peace and joy and love and hope and growth in my relationships!  I’m following John Eldredge's advice to pray in the new year and sincerely consecrate it to God - I have a lot of big things coming up where I need to slow down and seek His direction and favor, and the quiet prayer time with Jesus feels like a perfect way to center my heart in what matters most and "choose what is best" as I enter a new year and a new chapter of life!!

Pic from our final 2024 family dinner at Chili's tonight!

I'm deeply grateful for all God has done and sincerely excited about all He is doing and will do in 2025!  HAPPY NEW YEAR, friends and fam!! ❤

Year in Review - 2024!

2024 has been a year of growth, grace, and great memories.  I'm thankful for the moments that shaped me, the challenges that strengthened me, and the blessings that reminded me of God's goodness!!  Here's to 2025 and all God has in store! ❤  #yearinreview

New Year’s Day lunch at Napa Flats, Mom’s birthday at The Ranch, Kyndal’s first club tournament and first fruit smoothie, and the beginning of Travis & Taylor! Lol

Jace’s birthday, Tate’s birthday, the Super Bowl party, the twins’ birthdays, Cheryl’s retirement party, Valentine’s flowers, and my 40th birthday surprise party! 

Supervision meeting with Amy and Michelle, lunch with the Whitakers, Easter egg hunt at Moss manor, Tate’s baseball games and Los Cabos lunch, and fun with baby Asher Kenneth!

Tate’s Kindergarten graduation pics, Kelly’s baby shower for Holly Marie, the Brook with the Wilsons and Fultons, leading grief groups at Calm Waters, Wednesday walks with Kristin, Amber Marie with Mom, and Parker side-eyeing her mermaid bday cake! 

Chet’s client appreciation block party, Kyndal’s final Tulsa volleyball tournament, Launch course with Mel Robbins, Mother’s Day lunch at Saltgrass, and an important convo with the Wilsons at the Riverwalk!!

Summer swim with the niece and nephew, Father’s Day at LifeChurch, pre-op diet and surgery/recovery, Kate’s birthday party, Mom and Dad’s anniversary, movie day with the Oak Haven team, and more!

Celebrating Debra’s birthday at Restore, Kyndal Faith’s birthday, July 4th, Kristin’s birthday, Chet and Sarah’s birthdays, Triston’s “discovery flight,” leading role plays and catching up with friends at Residency 3 at CCU!!

The official end of my counseling internship year, meeting Annie F. Downs in Nashville with Mandy, Jace’s football games, Dad’s birthday, Sarah coming to OKC, and partnering with Abby for her CHA Senior Thesis!

OSU football games, the Wilsons’ Labor Day pool party, Tate and Parker’s lemonade stand, study session with Abby, 3-month surgiversary, and Central Park walks with Kristin!

Training for the Half, sequined up for MJ: The Musical, BSF Revelation study, Top Golf with the fam, Halloween fun at Gaillardia with Rach and the kids!!

Epic Disney trip, Thanksgiving fun, Asher’s 1st birthday, decorating Melissa’s house, the Route 66 Half, Jon’s birthday, and coming home to surprise Christmas decor by Mom and Kristin! 

Finishing grad school, landing a new job, celebratory photo shoot with CCU friends, Classic Christmas, Chet’s charcuterie board party, missing Reagan, the Sapulpa Christmas Chute, girls road trip, and more! 

Reflection Questions from Mel Robbins:

Or as Abby would say, "I'm gonna be so real with you right now..."

1.  What were the highlights of 2024 for you?

The days when I felt bold and took meaningful action + the days when that paid off + moments of real connection/love..... Signing up for the Launch course and watching those videos, signing up for the safe-sleeve surgery and following through with it, noticing details and feeling confident in God's leading there, noticing details and feeling confident in God's leading with the CREOKS job opening, my four-park Disney day, turning in my final paper for grad school, the photo shoot with the CCU girls, the Tulsa trip with Rach and Kyndal, seeing Annie and Eddie live at her 10th anniversary event in Nashville, a pivotal Leap-Day conversation with a close friend, the May 18th convo with Chet and Karli, pushing through to finish the Half with Kristin after thinking we might not get to, Parker being cute and cuddly and wanting to sit by me #miniBFF, connecting with my clients in virtual sessions and grief groups, connecting with Emily in our sessions and being more vulnerable than I have in the past, our family dinners and playing fun games together, feeling loved by friends going out of their way to plan my surprise party and all the friends who came from Tulsa for that!

2.  What were the hardest parts of the year for you?

Relational misunderstanding and pain + days when I felt helpless or unqualified + processing hard news or decisions..... Genuinely, the difficult moments of friendship tension or drama are always the worst for me - feeling the threat of rejection/loss can create a sort of temporary paralysis and overwhelm.  It was challenging to speak up for myself a few times when I felt hurt or misunderstood.  Feeling incompetent/overwhelmed and clueless about how to help and what to do in my work with younger kid clients at Restore (I'm taking steps to remedy that now and believing I am capable of growth and change there).  Recently learning my chance of a baby with IVF is still only 35% - still processing that one.  My fear of failure and emotional eating and how they can be a ridiculous negative spiral.  Needless stress in areas where I can take clear action to change things.  Feeling overwhelmed and in limbo about big future decisions (that's getting better now that I have a job lined up).

3.  What did you learn about yourself over the past year?

That I deeply need God and others and downtime....... That it's okay to seek and accept outside help in areas of struggle, that I need regular accountability and support, that I'm tired of feeling untethered to a church community, that I sometimes misunderstand God's heart and fail to draw near to Him when I most need His help... that I miss Tulsa and feel ready to move back, that I am very serious about people treating me with respect, that I love our family feeling connected and plan to prioritize regular time with them, that my hunger cravings are far more mental/emotional than physical, that I'm capable of navigating conflict and hard conversations (and that not all conflict is destructive), that I always feel better when I take small action steps and take responsibility for what I can control; that when life is rich and full, I genuinely need a good amount of sleep and writing and reading time, and that I don't always know what is best for myself (God often redirects me and has other plans).

4.  What will you stop doing in the coming year?

Lying to myself about what I really want, playing the victim or the villain, rationalizing sinful & self-defeating decisions, seeking too much validation through social media

5.  What will you start doing in the coming year?

Hosting friends regularly (second half of 2025); limiting myself to posting two days a week on FB/Instagram; learning all I can about school counseling (starting now); finding a new church home and small group (starting in March).

6.  What are you going to continue doing in the coming year?

The marathon training plan + prioritizing key relationships + seeking wise counsel + taking action toward meaningful goals

7.  What can you do today to take the first step toward the life you want in 2025!?

Start back with WW tracking + continue marathon training, step by step, day by day!

Happy Friday, friends and fam!  Praying you stay the course and finish strong in 2024.  And in case no one else tells you today, here's a friendly reminder that I love you and believe in you, and I am confident that God is with you and for you, and I believe in your ability to create a wonderful life as you draw close to Him!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Highlights at the Halfway Point

Friends, today marks the halfway point of this very eventful leap year... 183 days before this, and 183 days left in 2024.  I have a Colorado trip, a Nashville trip, a Disney trip, losing 60 pounds, finishing the Tulsa Half-Marathon, two major exams (NCE and CPCE), and completing my Masters Degree on the schedule for the next half of this year!  Just keeping it super light and breezy. lol  I'm honestly more curious about what unplanned surprises God has in store for me, as that has been the most interesting and exciting element of the year so far...

My Highlight Reel, 2024 Part One:

• 
  New Year's Day Lunch, 1-1-2024
• “I recently said out loud, ‘Ugh, where is anyone to help!?’ about a new client with a feeble support system... and even as I said it, I realized it was me.  God continues to open my eyes and bring hope as I consider HIS power to do new things in me and through me, even and perhaps especially in situations that appear dire or dark or hopeless.”  (1-11)
• “If the world feels especially dark, pray for the light of Christ to shine in you and through you… When we feel helpless, we bring God's power and strength into that.  It’s a simple yet powerful concept:  Think about what you're dealing with lately (which reflects what is coming against you spiritually), and bring the opposite against it in the name of Jesus!!”  (Bring the Opposite, 1-16)
• “Reaching this matching milestone has not been a short or simple path.  And I'll strongly emphasize that there are no guarantees moving forward, other than that God will remain faithful and true!!”  (Embryo Adoption Match #1, 1-25)
• “In Scripture, 40 often indicates a period of trial or faith testing, closely followed by God fulfilling a promise, bringing ‘new life, new growth, transformation, a change from one great task to another.’”  (2-16)
• 
  My 40th Birthday Surprise Party, 2-17-2024
• “Hooray for starting off my 40th year surrounded by the world's best group of friends and my wonderful family!!”  (2-17)
• “I understand having a lot of things together but hiding the cringey, messy stuff.  I understand reading and writing about God's love but quietly wondering if He's ready to give up on you or deliberately keeping His distance.  I am starting to remember and understand the power of confession and getting real and feeling God fight for you in a new way.”  (2-29)
• “I'm embracing authentic accountability in places where I'm used to hiding my faults.  I'm human and prone to wander, but rather than pretending all is well (putting my image over substance), I plan on getting serious and painfully honest with trusted friends about where I'm falling short... keeping it in the light, seeking support, then repeatedly asking for God's help while genuinely pursuing change… Small compromises add up and snowball.  But so does small progress.”  (3-3)
• “My emotional sensitivity is UP, and I hate feeling this way.  Some questions/ comments are unintentionally striking a nerve lately.  I don't want my life to be forgettable, and I don't want to be pitied or mocked.  I want belonging and shared joy and connection and purpose and love.  (All of which have genuinely increased in my life over the past five years, and none of which are exclusive to motherhood/parenting.)”  (Time Change, 3-10)
• “The version of me that I dream of being does whatever it takes to stay closely connected to Jesus - she is humble and repentant and fiercely devoted… She lives a life of love that flows from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5)!! ❤  He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it!”  (3-18)
• 
  McAlister's with the Whitaker Fam, 3-21-2024
• 

  One of Many Tulsa Club Volleyball Tournaments, 4-6-2024
• "I firmly believe there are wonderful Christian single men in the world, and that God knows how to connect us if I really open myself to that possibility and pray for His direction and timing.  The natural odds are irrelevant to Jesus, and in fact, He specializes in working with people most of the world has written off as too old or not good enough.  So whether it is children or marriage or a thriving counseling practice or a book that changes lives or some combination of all of that, I'm saying yes to everything God desires to give me in this life.  And I trust His heart toward me, with faith that He will protect me, give me wisdom, and open new doors for me here if and when the timing is right. ❤"  (4-7)
• “God is truly good, and holding fast to our faith does not make us shallow or naïve…  We all go through hard seasons, but gracious, embrace every bit of JOY and goodness you find in this earthly life.  Look for the good - choose love - choose life - choose to hope in Christ.”  (The Hopeful Poets Department, 4-26)
• 
  Kyndal's Final 2024 Club Tournament, 5-4-2024
  
• “Shoutout to Chettles and Jeffrey Edward for being excellent friends who consistently show up when it matters with fun-loving, supportive energy!  ...Best Brothers Ever! ;-)" (5-6)
• “My strong desire is that God will use everything the enemy intended for evil in my story to rescue and empower others and bring them closer to Jesus!  …Also praying for God to continually reveal and remove anything sick or secret in my life moving forward.”  (5-10)
• “I appreciate the reminder that women without a husband and/or children still have the God-given opportunity and the responsibility to be fruitful and multiply.  God did not leave us out of His Kingdom or of that command, and I'm genuinely grateful for that!  …I'm still waiting on His next move in my story, but I trust that God is good.  And my highest hope is not in marriage or children, but centered in the stability of Christ!! ❤”  (Mother’s Day, 5-12)
• “Motivational Interviewing = encouraging change talk over ambivalence… The therapist works with them to establishing a compelling vision (what do they really want in life?), take a shame-free, painfully honest look at the discrepancies (where is their current life not aligned with their vision?), build their HOPE that lasting change is possible (by looking at their own past successful changes and the success stories of others, knowing they have a solid support system, and leaning on God's grace), and finally resolve to make small changes that will lead to their desired outcome!!”  (A May audiobook that lined up perfectly with my conversation the Wilsons the next week, 5-16)
• 
  ❤ 5-18-2024
• “He [Chet] was in a very unique position to help me reframe surgery as a potentially healthy option to help me live a happier and longer life, without that feeling condescending or calculated or toxic or pressured.  I trust his heart toward me, and God prompted him and he spoke well, and I just feel very convinced that God worked all of this out so that my stubborn resistance would not get in the way and I would trust the new narrative and feel this peace from Him. ❤”  (In Every Detail, 5-22)
• “I think bracing up is kind of the knee-jerk reaction, and it probably stems from your history with rejection… and that's so understandable.  But this is the new, healthier Lindsey, and there's no need to carry that forward!"  (Dropping the Sword, 6-3)
• “She [Mel] says to be so careful not to say that someone who treated you terribly "loved you" - that it's dangerous because it changes your standard and lowers your bar for what LOVE should look like and how you deserve to be treated!”  (6-5)
• “Mom came in and we held hands and prayed together, and I loved that!  One of the nurses mentioned that I was their 7th surgical patient that day, remarking ‘Lucky number 7!!’  Mom and I both looked at each other and smiled - so many little nods from God.”  (6-8)
• “The great majority of the changes I've made over the past 3+ years were internally motivated by the hope of adoption and motherhood.  I'm uncertain whether that will ever happen, but increasingly confident in God's goodness and power to change things quickly... and I think part of His goodness to me in this season is getting to love and connect with my close friends' and fam's kids, who are very precious to me!”  (6-13)
• “In my immeasurable thoughts, prayers, and intentional efforts toward motherhood/adoption as a single woman, my heart is never in *complete* alignment with that goal... the thing that gives me the most pause is understanding the value of a good dad in a child's life.”  (Father’s Day, 6-14)
• “On Tuesday, I received news of the 3rd rejected embryo adoption match.  I was surprised, but not devastated - more curious what God is up to."  (6-20, God was clearly preparing me for this news in what I wrote about the week before in the two quoted posts above)
• “I feel repeatedly in awe of all God has done and all He is doing, reliant on His daily grace, aware of His power and my own inadequacies, growing in humility and hope for the future.  Surely God's goodness and mercy are following me, and He is directing my steps and calling me forward.”  (6-27)
• “When I got to work today, I promptly registered myself for the Route 66 Half (exactly six months from my pre-op diet start date) and the OKC Memorial Full (on their 25th anniversary next April)… I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to reset and remember who you are... and to live in better alignment with your values and God-given strengths!! ❤”  (6-28)
• 
  Kate's 3rd Birthday Party, 6-29-2024

YAY for the 7 photos and 24 blog quotes that best represent Part 1 of my 2024.  Yay for bookending this post with the Wilsons and Fultons, for whom I am infinitely grateful.  Yay for good friends and wise counsel and a solid support system and slowly surrendering to change!  Yay for seeing God's hand at work as I look back over the past (and when I slow down and pay attention in the present).  Yay for this fresh start and for feeling hopeful and excited about what lies ahead in Part 2 of 2024!!  Happy Monday, Happy July, and Happy Birthday to Malori today!

God is WITH us and FOR us, and He will be faithful to complete every good thing He has started inside us as we are faithful to intentionally walk in step with Him!! ❤