The Path of Life

"You lead me in the path of LIFE.  You will fill me with abundant JOY in Your presence, with the sweetness of VICTORY at Your right hand."  ~Psalm 16:11

Dearest Friends and Family,

Happy 7-7!! ❤  My surgery was exactly one month ago, and I am grateful for every bit of kindness, love, and support I have received from those who care about me.  Physically, I am grateful to say I’m recovering well and my incisions are almost fully healed.  I’m beginning to strength train and preparing to start Half-Marathon training a couple weeks from now!

Mentally and spiritually, my recovery is just beginning.  Honestly, I should have been wise enough to expect the storm of spiritual warfare that hit just when I was most vulnerable post-op.  But in the same way I tend to be oblivious to checking the Weather app until a torrential downpour hits, I did not armor-up or prepare myself well for the enemy's attacks in this season.  I am smart and driven and intentional, and I'm not crazy or unwilling to put in effort... but I have been struck by paralyzing fear along with sincere confusion about how to move forward.  And even as I write that, I am hearing 2 Timothy 1:7 in my mind - that God in His goodness has not given me a spirit of fear, but of POWER, and of LOVE, and a SOUND (clear and peaceful) MIND.  This fear and confusion and instability are not rooted in Him.

I have authority over the enemy, and I can separate the light from the darkness.  I have a God who leads me forward "in the path of life."  Who brings me abundant joy in His presence.  And who holds the sweetness of victory and peace in His right hand.  Staying close to Him is essential.

On this one-month mark, I've been thinking purposefully about the path ahead of me.  And praying over it on my silent “mindfulness walk" tonight.  Then discussing it with my attentive and caring friend, Chet, who called to check in with accountability and encouragement.

God’s path of life starts with me breaking agreements and taking back my God-given authority... embracing the courage it took to start this whole journey, and thanking God for the solid foundation that upholds a safe refuge where I can withstand this storm (Mt. 7:24-25). ❤

Moving forward with better boundaries, I am committing to drop the sword of suspicion and trust and follow the medical advice:  To lead with protein, incorporate more vegetables and fiber, and be very intentional about making wise food choices over the six months ahead!  I am removing the mental "finish line" of hitting a certain weight number and then being "done."  My game plan is to persevere with the doctor-recommended nutrition advice for the next six months while paying close attention to physical hunger and fullness cues… then in the new year (if it continues to align with God's will), I will revisit the book I just read and thoughtfully move into an intuitive eating approach with food, which seems like the best path forward for long-term mental and physical health!  I'm also committing to a 10-minute "vision-walk" or 10 minutes of journaling every morning where I will pray over these things and set my focus for the day ahead of me, a valuable and relatively simple habit that I've started this week with Launch... which continues to be an exceptional and well-timed tool for me!! ❤

This = a pic after our family dinner at Clark Crew BBQ tonight!

The boys all messing with each other whilst Rach and Kyndal smile normally. lol

It's been a really fun long weekend, which I will recap more tomorrow!

Song for Today = Trust in God by Elevation Worship

This is song #1 on the "Intention Setting" Peloton walk, and I adore it now... Elevation worship music feels especially anointed to me!

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.

He's been my fourth man in the fire time after time...

Perfect submission, all is at rest.

I know the Author of tomorrow has ordered my steps...

I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered.

Month #1 has been humbling and surprisingly hard and messy at times... focused mostly on physical recovery + regaining my footing mentally and spiritually.  I was knocked down and disoriented, and the struggle to get back up and stand firm has been real - I feel afraid even now, but more aware of the warfare behind that fear, and more empowered to fight back.

Month #2 will be about reclaiming authority in Christ + prioritizing protein + rebuilding strength in mind, body, and spirit!  I am pressing into my support system and the stability and strength that are mine in Christ.  Together, we really can do hard things!

God alone holds the key to the path of life and the sweetness of victory.

And I believe He is helping me to write a beautiful new chapter, even if the first draft looks a bit messy!

“I trust in God my Savior, the One who will never fail.” ❤

With Love and Hope,

Lindsey Claire

Photo Friday!

That's right - you get TWO Photo Friday posts for the price of one today! lol  Even with all the collages I made, there were still almost 30 photos, so I decided to split it into two posts.

I went to Walmart for strawberries and dip stuff today, and I grabbed these flowers, thanks to Mel Robbins talking about the value of buying flowers for ourselves as a simple way to add JOY and BEAUTY to our lives... yay!! ❤

Jace Michael as Iron Man at Life.Church last weekend (already decorated for At The Movies).  And a Rach-and-Jace collage Google Photos randomly made for me. =)

In spite of just starting this new 10-year journal, I'd gladly welcome Jesus coming back any day soon!! lol  The Tinker fireworks had a really intense and fun finale last night, then Jace randomly said, "That was a great finale!!  I bet it was so good 'cause this is the last year we'll all be alive 'cause Jesus is coming back!" lol  Let it be so.

Sarah and Kate opening my Disney princess Candy Land gift =) ...And a fun Wilson fam photo-puzzle gift by Walgreens!  (Does that make anyone else think, "Winston is about to do some puzzling"!?) lol

Yay, Wilsons and Fultons - yay friends who are willing to have hard conversations rather than let friendships fade out!

It's been a while since I made strawberries and dip before today... but what a cheerful summer dish that becomes a perfect red, white, and blue snack for our patriotic pool party at the Wilsons' tomorrow! lol

Today was also day one of being officially cleared for strength workouts... the left is the classes I did today and the right is the schedule for tomorrow!  Highly recommend the Intention Setting walk - so good!!  And my arms are going to be sore, but it felt great to get back into it! #FridayFlex

My silent walk and my Peloton walk both ended before I got back to my car, so I looked up this song and added it to my playlist after hearing it at Walmart this morning. lol  A classic, but so good and fun - it's been in my head all day!! 

Speaking of... FB keeps showing me Seinfeld clips lately, and George always makes me laugh - I freaking love him! lol #summerofGeorge #theseawasangrythatdaymyfriends

 

A fun Office ladies reunion celebrating Kate's (Meredith's) 50th birthday! =)

Cool drone pic... I hope Central Park is forever preserved as a park where no building is allowed!  It's my very favorite part of NYC, a space where you can breathe and feel human in the midst of the "concrete jungle!!"

Post by James Clear (Atomic Habits author)... 

I am almost done with the Anti-Diet book on intuitive eating, and it. is. paradigm shifting.  So the current habits that feel least aligned with the woman I hope to become are self-blame, self-shame, not commanding respect with unsolicited body commentary, calorie counting, obsessive food thoughts, and generally embracing the lies of diet culture.  I want out, and I'm starting to see the way out.  I want actual abundant life and truth and freedom... on earth as it is in Heaven.  The timing does feel incredibly strange a month after weight-loss surgery, but I am trusting God and really praying to move forward boldly in a way that honors Him, honors my physical body and all I am learning and all I've been through, honors others who care about my health journey, and honors my future clients and career direction, which also maaaay be shifting.  Not 100% certain on that yet, but I do feel passionate about helping others see clearly here.  Grateful for God's continuing grace and work in our lives!!

Happy Friday, and have a lovely weekend ahead!

❤❤❤

Strong, Steadfast, and Immovable

Okay, I'm only two sessions in, but so freaking happy about working with Emily, my new counselor and life coach!  She gave me some journaling homework that opened up great conversations... and she is really helping me to reframe my fear and self-doubt and BELIEVE that there is a healthy and balanced path forward here.  I have felt worried about the extremes on both ends of the spectrum - deeply fearing a public failure to lose weight, and simultaneously fearing the negative side effects of super-rapid weight loss.

I talked about the value of intuitive eating, the inherent dangers of being super restrictive, my desire for lasting health changes over dramatic results that won't last, and the idea that no food should be labeled always good or always bad.  I was so encouraged by hearing her mirror my perspective and affirm my intuition about the emotional and physical dangers of super-rapid weight loss expectations... and overall, I feel like I'm standing on more solid ground now, both mentally and physically!

• My goal is to make steady, sustainable changes that will last for years... NOT to lose the maximum amount of weight possible in six months and then feel triggered to repeat a familiar restrict/binge cycle ad nauseum.
• My goal is lasting weight loss and health, and if it takes me a year+ rather than six months to reach a good healthy weight, that is a victory NOT a failure.
• I want to focus more on being on a healthy trajectory and NOT stress about hitting certain scale numbers on certain dates.  
• I want to focus more on getting stronger and training for my goal races, NOT on limiting myself to 200-500 calories of actual food after two protein shakes.
• I want to stay steady and gradually grow in viewing myself as a healthy person and NOT focus so much on how others view me and/or my results.
• I want to focus on being really attentive to my physical hunger/fullness cues, stopping when I am full (which will graciously come faster now), and making healthier food choices... but NOT on tracking every calorie and strictly avoiding most carbs and sugars.

We talked about the need to detach myself from the opinions of others, annnnnd we'll continue to work on that, among other therapy goals.  But I believe there is a healthy path forward for me, and I am so grateful for that hope and to be defining (Lindsey's Version) of that more clearly!  

Current audiobook.

I've been in a sinking panic mode for a bit, stressing and obsessing about the calories and the BMI and the scale numbers and feeling the intense pressure of crazy-high expectations and rigid dieting standards.  I am jumping ship and changing vessels today... intuitive eating and pursuing health and strength from a place of peace... it was the original plan and the reason I felt so hopeful, and it's a much healthier and more grace-filled trajectory moving forward, even if my physical results come a little slower.  Not changing the goal, but changing the system.  Yay, therapy.  And yay, Jesus!!  Cheers! lol

Stand firm and do not be shaken.  Be steadfast.  Be strong and immovable!  Always excel in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Cor. 15:58) ❤