Partial and Incomplete

One year ago yesterday was my appointment with Dallas IVF.  The doctor gave me the unwelcome news that I would need a D&C hysteroscopy surgery to remove a uterine polyp.  That was not an easy day for me, and it certainly was not the last wall or hurdle I would face in the embryo adoption journey, which is paused indefinitely at the moment.  I was caught off guard seeing this picture on Google Photos -- so much has changed for me over the past year, and I'm feeling very reflective about it all.  I'm guessing I'll write more on that down the road, but it's still marinating for now.

 

I woke up feeling nauseous and "off" today... I initially thought it was emotional stuff affecting me negatively, but I felt achy and got worse through the morning, and sure enough, I took an at-home test during lunch and tested positive for Covid.  Then texted everyone at work and Restore and gladly went back to bed for several hours.

I don't love that it's happening so near the end of my internships, but part of me was immediately thankful for the forced slow-down and time off - like God knew I needed that right now, and I should be better in time for my planned trip.

Sarah came to spend the day with me in OKC yesterday (praying she avoids getting sick - I so didn't see this coming).  Here's our pic by my Tulsa wall, at Mom and Dad's house, and swimming... we also did lunch at Oliveto, tax-free shopping for Kate at Target, and dinner at Charleston's...

And a Facetime call with Chet Lee. lol

A distant friend posted this, and I had so many thoughts about it... sharing them here rather than social media.

Strongly disagree - that would be a false faith in something that does not exist.  I am 100% uninterested in an earthly life without the promise of a future in heaven.  The eternal hope we have through Christ is and should be the driving force of our lives.  And yes, our faith and our relationship with Christ gives us the ability to carry God's Kingdom into the here and now, partially.  To be a light in the dark world, to live with hope and renew our minds and do our best to pray for and help create a surrounding atmosphere "on earth as it is in heaven."  Partially!  But the Bible is very clear that "all that we know now is partial and incomplete," so for us to expect the fullness of heaven here on earth is a false hope that will be disappointed.  We all want more, but that's the point of any good preview.  There will not be complete harmony here on earth, now, today, in this moment.  Total fulfillment will not happen for any of us here - our earthly experience is always partial and incomplete - that is quite literally a Biblical promise.  BUT there will be massive redemption and healing and Jesus making all things new someday... grand reunions and freedom from death and decay WILL happen in Heaven, and casually dismissing that idea or losing sight of the value of that promise is literally the most ignorant thing we could do.  We have Jesus now, today, in this moment.  We have our faith in Him, our eternal hope through Him, and His love flowing in us and through us.  And even there, our relationship with Him will be richer and more tangible when we're together in Heaven, and what a hopeful reminder that is!

"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."  ~I Corinthians 13:12

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Weekend Update!

 Last night, we celebrated Dad's 71st Birthday at The Ranch in OKC! ❤

Parrish fam pic at Mom and Dad's after dinner!

The niece and nephews in this pose through the years. =)

Brothers!

Miss K made this sign for Grandpa - so great - she was especially proud of the golf cart!!

After dinner, we all went to Mom and Dad's for cake and ice cream... then I went to Rachael's to see Triston's room update (really nice!)... then Jaceman entertained us with helium while I went through Rachael's dresses and jeans!

Yay for "shopping" in her closet for some new-to-me options for my Nashville trip! =)

Some epic cuteness from Harvey and Heidi's party that morning... Rapunzel and Spider-Man dropped by!  I'm sad to have missed that and the group lunch with the Wilsons + Teresa and Sarah and Kate, but the extra sleep was probably needed at this point, and I'm thankful they had fun and I had a great day with the fam!

Jonathan and Matthew... I so value and appreciate them and Austin... and really, that's true for all the good and Godly men at CCU and throughout the world. lol

I met the Wilson fam for a quick lunch at Bedlam BBQ as they were in OKC visiting the Science Museum!

Here's Parker sharing "her" Italian cream cake with Chettles! =)

This was the first Deadpool movie I've ventured to see... and it turns out, I'm a fan!  Not sure if that would hold true for the others, but the combo of Ryan and Hugh (whose real-life friendship makes me happy) + Ryan's constant, hilarious narration and inside jokes + fun cameos + a good soundtrack + the cheesy sort of over-the-top violence that doesn't bother me too much worked out well!

Yes to this - here's to taking the time you need to heal... then rising with resilience, getting back up stronger than before, and silencing your ignorant critics!

Reminder to myself on making healthy choices and moving toward my goals - my ingrained reaction to stress is to binge on sugary foods, whether or not I am physically hungry.  I'm unable to eat as much now, but the goal is genuine health, so I want to change the internal pattern and narrative and choose better coping mechanisms that do no harm physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually!!

Like writing, for example. ;-)

Okay, Sarah Elizabeth is on her way and I'm excited to spend the day hanging out with her!  (Yay for having this week's homework done a bit early!!)  

I have two weeks left for this summer semester of graduate school, two weeks left for my work with Restore and Oak Haven and all the clients at both sites.  I am very ready for the break... but I'm also entirely grateful for these experiences!!  And determined to finish well.

Happy Sunday, friends & fam!  I love you and believe in you, and I believe that our God has good things in store, and He is weaving everything you've experienced together for your good and His glory! ❤

Friday Fun! (Mostly Memes)

"I'm so excited!!"  Laughed out loud on this one for sure! #SBTB

This one makes me wanna go to Maggiano's.  Lol at "a nice warmup!"

Gracious, this has been me lately... but I had a very productive work & homework day yesterday, so huzzah!

Jaceman

Me - I always need to hear this! lol

One of my fav Michael quotes, but it's a pretty long list! lol

This feels like the level of drama/celebration I would bring to an early pregnancy! lol

Lolol

Hahaha 

A friend posted this and I laughed pretty hard (partly thinking of Mom's former thoughts on our state)!

Lol #JuwannaMann

I need to find more of the commentary by Snoop and Kevin Hart! lol

Yay, Simone!!  I love that her story includes an epic comeback after the struggles of 2020!

My new mousepad and wood panel at work - yay, Walgreens Photo!

Love that I'm Parker's real life friend and imaginary-texting friend! lol

So this meme made me think of spaghetti, which then made me think of Chet joking about Mom's spaghetti, which made me think of Eminem, and now I have Lose Yourself in my head!  "I was playin in the beginning - the mood all changed..."  So freaking good!!!  That song = a perfect 5-minute warmup ride for Peloton!

Yesterday marked the 15-year anniversary of my first race event ever... I had zero idea what I was doing or how massive that crowd would be... so I had issues finding parking and I started the race late (which didn't really matter, as I had no supporters, they had no medals at the finish line, and I took no photos).  In spite of that, I remember it with joy and pride!  I wore my orange Quarter Marathon t-shirt, and I remember feeling proud as I crossed the Finish Line, and more empowered to conquer my first Half a few months later!  It makes me happy to be training for another Half this year (granted, we'll mostly be walking this one, but the training schedule will be great).  Meeting Kristin at Central Park tonight for our first official-training walk together!!  Yay us! ;-)

Happy Friday, family and friends!

And Happy Birthday-Eve to Dad - they celebrated it early at State Farm!! ❤

I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to hear from God, who has a personalized plan and purpose for your life and for mine! ❤

Thankful Thursday #199!

"I know that YOU can do all things.

No purpose of Yours can be thwarted."

~Job 42:2

Today, I am thankful for...

1.  Processing hard emotions with hope and purpose.  And with the help of Jesus and my counselor and friends and family.  Watching Ted Lasso again lately, and seeing Rebecca at her medical appointment so happy and hopeful about the idea of having a child... then so tangibly disappointed to learn that a biological child would not be possible for her... it really hit home.  Of course, it helps that I know things end well for her in the show... and that I see her as a character with power and purpose with or without a child.  I am working on viewing myself and my story in a similar, God-honoring light!!  To make a very long story short, for a while, I've had in the back of my mind that the only role where I would truly be irreplaceable was being a mom.  And while there is great value and meaning in that role, I don't want to dismiss or discount the other ways God is prepared to use me.  I want to break the agreement that I'm easily replaceable in other relationships or in any career path I may choose -- it's nothing but a damaging lie from the enemy that causes me to doubt my worth and value as a counselor, author, friend, etc., and I'm (gratefully) seeing that with more clarity lately!!

2.  Feeling hopeful as I prayerfully consider the possibilities on the road ahead of me.

3.  God's timing, which often becomes clearer in hindsight.

4.  A precious thank-you video from Miss Parker Elizabeth (for the Disney princess Candy Land game I ordered for her as she was looking through my Google Photos and said "I want this!!" lol)

5.  God's protection... I'm thankful I wasn't in Creek County for this, and I'm thankful Tracey's okay!  The ceiling in my old office collapsed during the workday on Tuesday... like, cement literally fell from the walls and came through the ceiling tiles, breaking the court reporter's computer and injuring her head and her shoulder.  She was taken to the hospital by ambulance, and everyone was very shaken up.  Craziness!!  (I'm hopeful that this will inspire them to actually fix a few things at this point!)

6.  The wonderful Moss family, now a party of five!! ❤

7.  The felt presence and anointing of God at the Colorado Christian University campus... this first photo was last summer, and the gap between the two buildings is where the chapel building now sits... can't wait to see the inside when it's completed next summer! 

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Happy first day of August!