The Goodness of God

❤ Joy, Lindsey, Michelle, Lauren, and Amy ❤

Amy sent these photos via our Roomies group text late last night, which felt like perfect timing on the day I'd submitted my final reflection paper for the Masters in Counseling degree!!  The headshots turned out great!  And here again, I am grateful for the timing aligning with my 6-month surgiversary...

Michelle Sharp Cartmill... my early childhood friend (her dad was a groomsman in my parents' wedding and JoBug is her Godmother) turned college buddy - so thankful for the way God worked that out!  Michelle will continue teaching at Epic Charter Schools while working with Oak Haven and Verite Counseling in Edmond to complete her supervised hours!

We all have a painful backstory and a vicious spiritual enemy, accompanied by a redemptive arc with a very faithful God who has now called us into the counseling field to lead others toward hope and healing!!  On a related note, I've always loved this poem for the "All that's best of dark and bright" line. ❤

Hooray for the sparkly boots making a minor appearance here... 

...and yay for not hating these seated pics!!  That. is. new. ❤

Joelnika, aka "Joy" Martin... a feisty mom of seven who is going to be the Director for a Texas branch of a private practice run by a CCU professor!

More than anything else, I'm so happy to have these group pics of us!!

*In the above pics, Michelle borrowed my black cardigan, which I'd borrowed from Rachael. lol

Thankful for notable physical progress, even without the flattering mirror-selfie angle!  I feel peace with where I am today and fully believe I will continue to improve my health moving forward.  Also, thankful for glasses - Amy tried a few shots without them, but I really feel more like myself in them now!

Lauren Bennett... a tenderhearted Texan who will also be running a branch of the private practice with Dr. Welsh from CCU!

What a gift to do this alongside other women who are also making a major career transition in their 40s.  These ladies are wonderful, encouraging, faith-filled, wise counselors - women of substance who are called and anointed by God!  They're also healthy (and thin) and beautiful, and a year ago, I might've found a reason to bow out of this photo session... or felt very self-conscious about my weight in every pic that showed anything below the chest and face.  Looking at these group pics fills me with SO MUCH JOY AND GRATITUDE about the renewed confidence and sense of belonging - not hiding or fading or playing it small, but fully embracing all God has for me in this new chapter!! ❤

Lindsey Claire Muecke... A warm and competent Christian counselor feeling hopeful about what God has in store!  (Not positive exactly where I am headed, but as of 4pm yesterday, I have a promising interview tomorrow afternoon and may know more soon!)  This is probably my fav headshot by Amy... *huge thanks to Rachael Parrish for the hair help and for suggesting browns and reds as good colors for me!

Submitting my last assignment after our family dinner last night!! #getexcited  I finished that paper at work, but waited until I was with people so it wouldn't feel so anticlimactic to submit it. lol  Thankful for the fam and their emotional and financial support through the past 2.5 years!!

My fav selfie from our photo shoot!  We all changed several times, and sadly, I never had this exact clothing combo on in any of Amy's pics.  I chose jewelry, jeans, and a "hair crown" that I could wear with everything. =)

Amy Christian Sargeant... our photographer extraordinaire!  A kind and confident Edmond native and military wife and mom who will be working with Verite Counseling moving forward!

"All my life, You have been faithful.

And all my life, You have been so, so good.

With every breath that I am able,

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God!"

❤ ❤ ❤

Lately...

Starting next week, the blog will feature "Marathon Monday" posts with a weekly video update, so yay for that!!

(Alternating phone screensavers lately)

Annie's "Stay Tuned" Advent videos have been wonderfully encouraging in this season (all focused on these verses).

I made these Pioneer Woman apple dumplings for the second time in like 3 years on Friday... yum! 

*(For the record, I used half the butter and sugar she calls for - still tasted great - and I've paced myself and given several away and not overdone it, aaaand training officially starts this coming weekend. lol)

AFD in NYC - grateful for that Instagram account for ideas for my upcoming trip, and grateful for all the ways Annie has inspired me to live a more vibrant life!!

Saturday was Pei Wei lunch with the fabulous Foster fam - fun times - Miles and Hope were both talkative and had lots of good things to share, and it was great to catch up with Jon and Kristin too!

After lunch, I picked up my new Halo Couture hair extensions (they're removable like a headband - wearing them in this photo) - they add the perfect amount of length and volume, and they match my hair color and blend really well - YAY!  Also, I love the new window display at Janelle's salon! =)

After that, I went to watch Parker Elizabeth's ballet performance!  I was picturing a much more low-key thing, but this was a massive event at Union High's theater room that holds 3000 people where I had to park like a mile away and barely made it inside on time... eek!  She was on stage for approximately 4-5 minutes, but the little mice were genuinely the cutest part of the show (which was all very well done and fun to watch).  Gigi and Grammy both brought flowers for her, and she was a fan! =)

Get OUT with the cuteness of this photoshoot!  Love her and her entire personality! ❤ #feistymouse

The wonderful Wilson fam - could not love them more!  We took some pics for their Christmas cards, then I joined them and the Weatherfords for dinner at Mission BBQ (where Parker showed me her new Chick-fil-A Christmas ornament). lol

After all of that, I drove to Rachael's house where she curled my hair (and extensions) and loaned me some cute clothes, then I tried on several options and sent tons of photo texts to her and Mom to decide what to wear for the headshot photos the next day. lol  (This = her cute front door chalkboard.)

Saturday, we met at the White Moose Studio where we all changed clothes multiple times and Amy took several photos of us from 11:30 to 1:00!  My first professional photo shoot where I wasn't in the photographer role, and it was pretty fun (and incredibly well-timed, as I mentioned in the previous post)!  Michelle, Amy, Lauren, and Joy have been my CCU roommates at the last two Residency weekends, and we've had a group text for the past couple years that's helped us all get through grad school together!  (Lauren and Joy drove down from McKinney, TX for this!)

Michelle turned on a fun playlist of '90s hits, and we took tons of individual photos and ended with a few of all of us - excited to get those back soon! ❤

We went to Cheever's Cafe in OKC for lunch - new to me, and my chicken enchiladas were great!  It was a really fun morning talking about future plans and celebrating being *almost done* with our Master's degree!!

And finally, last night was Dad's State Farm Christmas dinner at BJ's, where we had a big crowd and grabbed a family table to the side of the main staff table.  Jaceman joined us for this group photo, but sat with some other boys around his age for dinner! I feel bad that I didn’t ask for a full SF staff pic… I’ll remedy that next time!

PS how much do I love turtlenecks!?  Yes, please - classy and cozy and cute!!  I'm so happy about having some cute new shirts that fit me - a few from Rach and several that I ordered on Amazon for the photo session!

Okay, that's really all for today.  For what it's worth, I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a life you love!

❤❤❤

Six Months Later...

❤ December 7, 2024 ❤

Good morning, dearest friends and family!!

Saturday marked six months since my gastric sleeve surgery at Blossom Bariatrics in Vegas.  It's been an incredible, transformative season for me, inside and out!  Today, my heart overflows with gratitude and determination... weight loss surgery has given me the gift of an amazing jump start.  More importantly, it offered RENEWED HOPE that real, lasting change is possible.  After years of struggle, I now feel empowered to pursue and maintain a healthier lifestyle, grounded in a growing sense of purpose. ❤

Progress Update:

• I’m down 90 pounds from my highest weight ever, over 70 pounds since this summer, and within 40 pounds of my goal weight range!
• No more blood pressure meds, better lab results, and increased energy and endurance!!
• Improved emotional balance as the initial hormonal changes have stabilized!
• More confidence and a desire to take better care of myself in several areas!

I chose the safest and least invasive surgical option, which means my weight loss is slower than it might have been with other surgeries.  My body still fully absorbs all the calories and nutrients of everything I eat (which is part of why I'm not struggling with vitamin deficiencies, major hair loss, malabsorption, etc.).  I am really happy with that decision, while being aware that it puts more responsibility on me to continue and maintain my progress as I move forward!

Six months down, the rest of my life to go...

Challenges and Growth:  As my body adjusts (the newly smaller stomach naturally relaxes a bit by the six-month mark), it’s time to get more serious about consistent, wise food choices.  I'm aware that protein and veggies fuel me best and keep me feeling full, while sugary treats and processed carbs digest quickly and cause cravings.  Old habits are hard to break, but not impossible - so much of it lies in where our identity is rooted.  One thing I'm actively struggling with is having a little too much grace for myself and thinking of 'eating whatever I want' as the best way to really enjoy my life, especially around vacations and holidays.  Having a more limited portion size can make it feel more tempting to snack around and have "just a little" of ALL the things I want... but those calories add up, and it all impacts my blood sugar and mood and energy levels, so it's important for me to use wisdom and remember that there are other ways to reward myself (like buying smaller clothes, for example)!  For more than one reason, I am embracing the WW app for some extra accountability moving forward.

Especially in the first three months post-op, the physical changes were rapid and my mind and heart were struggling to catch up - LOTS of strong emotions and long-held fears were bubbling up to the surface.  I'm thankful for my counseling sessions with Emily, having a place where I've felt safe to process the past shame, emotional shifts, and unique life changes that accompany my story.  At this point, things feel much more balanced, and God is healing/transforming my thoughts to align with this healthier new identity.  I feel increasing clarity about what I want my health patterns to look like moving forward - I am not exactly where I was hoping to be by this particular milestone, but I have plenty to celebrate today!!  I finished my 5th Half Marathon, I'm on a good health trajectory, and I'm close enough to believe with confidence that my weight and health goals are now within my reach - that hope is not a small thing!  I'm deeply grateful to be stepping into a happier and healthier identity - mind, body, soul, and spirit! ❤

Looking Ahead:  I’m excited to begin training for my first Full Marathon soon, a long-term goal that I feel ready to conquer now!  I plan to document and share that journey - I'll get into those details in a later post, but I've decided to use the WW app paired with the Apple Watch activity tracking to ensure that I stay in the right food range as I'm training.  It's a simple and familiar tool that feels helpful and aligns well with my goals right now (prioritizing protein and healthier foods + enjoying all foods mindfully while keeping smart boundaries + adjusting my food intake according to my activity level).  This new season is about consistency, discipline, and embracing the identity of being an athlete in training!!

*On a personal note, the doctors recommend that you wait at least a year to try for a pregnancy after weight loss surgery... so it helps to redirect my energy and focus toward Marathon training and career transition in the meantime.  I am prayerfully considering pursuing another IUI or embryo adoption plan next summer - staying tuned in and awaiting God's direction.  Either way, I am grateful to prepare my body and spirit for whatever motherhood might look like in His timing!

Reflections:  This health journey is gradually reshaping the way I see myself, which is a huge blessing and the only way my progress will last.  Amy took professional photos for our CCU Roomies group yesterday, and it was such perfect timing to celebrate this six-month milestone and our 2.5 years in graduate school coming to a close!  I feel healthier, more vibrant, and ready to step into a new season as a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate in 2025.  I'm glad I chose to be vulnerable and share this publicly, and I'm deeply grateful for all the support, encouragement, and accountability I’ve received from family and friends!  Progress has slowed down, but the surgery was a solid choice and has been very successful for me... and it's now up to me to make the most of this jump start and reignited hope as I move forward with building a meaningful life. ❤

*THANK YOU again to Chet Lee for sparking this life-changing journey and for being an exceptional friend and support along the way!

We are valuable, loved by God, and worthy of love at every size, period.
Taking better care of ourselves enhances the life God created us to live!

Hopeful Reminder: A lot can change in a year.  Especially when we embrace outside help/support, shift our perspective, and choose to believe in ourselves!

With deep gratitude and fierce determination,

❤ Lindsey Claire

Thankful Thursday #217

"Therefore, since we are receiving a Kingdom
that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful,
and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe."
~Hebrews 12:28

Today, I thank God for...

1.  Kristen's health progress and hopeful perspective as she battles leukemia! ❤

2.  Another great audiobook - this one lands somewhere between Good Energy and Anti-Diet... a more balanced, healthy, grace-filled perspective!

3.  God using so many things in the natural world around me to speak hope to my heart!

4.  Timely reminders to follow peace rather than chasing approval.

5.  Being very near the 6-month mark and feeling proud of the progress I've made + hopeful for what lies ahead!

6.  Mentally preparing to start my "Couch to Marathon" training plan when I finish school!!  (I'm in the "I WILL" phase right now - third time's a charm! lol)

7.  Booking a last-minute NYC long weekend trip for me and T-man!!  I found some good prices on Cyber Monday and decided to go for it, and now I'm super excited for him to see it and for me to check off a few things that have been on my list for a while (like visiting the 9-11 Museum, Junior's restaurant, the big tree, Bow Bridge at Central Park, Trinity Church from National Treasure, and the S'mores place!)  *We're going January 3rd-5th, and most places should still be decorated for Christmas! ❤

Happy Thursday!

❤❤❤

Morning Insight

I woke up early to work out this morning, then opted for a 30-minute neighborhood walk instead of the Peloton strength classes I had stacked.  Literally waltzed outside in my t-shirt and capris having no clue it was below freezing, then quickly ran back in to grab a hoodie! lol #notetoself #Decemberhasarrived

Over the course of those 30 minutes, I had an epiphany of sorts, a healthy mindset shift... Robin Arzon always says, "Self-pity is poison, but movement is medicine!" and it's true.

For me, one of the greatest things about living in a new construction neighborhood is consistently watching the process of growth and building - seeing the Sold signs, the foundations being laid, the framing going up quickly, the walls and bricks and landscaping, and the contractors hard at work.  I'm a metaphorical thinker, and it does good things for my soul to dwell on that (and to eventually see the big red bow on the front door as people finally move into the new home they've designed).

The timelines we proclaim and set for ourselves may not be God's best or align with His plan for our lives. I have wrestled with self-doubt lately and been way too in my head about feeling "behind" in life.

There is beauty in the messy process of building something new. The mess and the waiting are undeniably hard.  For all of us, it's frustrating when things don't move as quickly or smoothly as we pictured and hoped.  But some days, you will be stunned by how much progress has been achieved.  Little by little, beautiful things are being built (and painted and decorated and furnished).  Seeing homes in various stages of construction is such a good visual reminder for me that IT'S OKAY that my life doesn't look like the lives of certain friends or family members.  It's okay to be in a different season or an earlier stage.  It's okay if what I'm building is smaller in scale or not the shape and colors others expected.  It's okay that things feel messy and hard and vulnerable when you make a fresh start or build something new.  It's really good to take your time choosing the best spot to lay the foundation, making sure you are building on Rock rather than sand.  Building and remodeling often cost more than expected and take tremendous effort and patience... but God works with us, using the raw materials from our background, work life, relationships, education, and daily small decisions to build something new and beautiful with our lives.

I'm grateful for the reminder that comparing my stem-wall foundation phase to someone else's fully-furnished home is silly and unfair.  That perspective helps me view people who are seemingly further along with sincere admiration, feeling hope and motivation rather than gnawing envy or self-doubt.  I WILL GET THERE when the time is right - and it's okay that it doesn't happen all at once.  The life I am building matters, and it's okay that it looks different than what others have built!  God loves variety, and honestly, so do I.  So whatever stage of life you find yourself in today, remember that God is working with you in it.  And His plan for you is unique, and we are all works in progress!!

Also remember that movement is medicine whenever you're feeling down! =)  This = my four-park Disney day step count and my Half-Marathon day step count... I'm planning on several more days like this moving forward!

Today has been good - a really healthy perspective shift.  I learned about and applied for another job opening - so maybe third time will be a charm - or maybe I will branch into starting my own business sooner than I'd planned.  Either way, I will be okay.  God's grace is enough day by day, and He has me covered!

Me after this morning's invigorating & crazy-cold walk. lol  Acknowledge the contrast!

Okay, thanks for being here.  Byeeee, friends!
❤ ❤ ❤

Stay Tuned...

"For many if not all of us, the holidays also are incredibly slow and silent.  Like the world has both gone into hyperdrive and slo-mo, and we somehow are still standing in the same place.  We are not living the exact life we thought we would.  And there are times, maybe more profound this month than any other time of the year, when the quiet of our lives just sounds and feels like emptiness versus peace...

Advent season is all about waiting... the time the church talks the most about how to wait with expectancy and joy.  But the thing is, for many of us, Advent is just one of the seasons when we are waiting... For those of us hoping to be married for the first time or finding ourselves single again, hoping to be a parent -- waiting, waiting, waiting -- a season that is meant to be focused on waiting and getting our anticipation up can feel - I don't know, exhausting.  For those of us who have yearly, monthly, weekly, seasonally looped through the heartbreak of waiting well, and high hopes, and busted hopes, and closed hearts, and the courage that so many don't even understand - the courage to just be willing to hope again, "Stay Tuned" is going to hold a few meanings for us this Advent season.  We say stay tuned when we know a story isn't over, when we think an interesting part of the story is still coming.  I'm going to remind you over and over to stay tuned in your life.  Stay tuned in your story.  Stay tuned to what God might be saying and writing and doing, even through this Advent series." 
~Annie F. Downs

Could not have said that better, so I decided to quote her here.

(And to sign up for that Advent study at the last minute.)

In the midst of low-grade sadness, that short podcast reminded me to hope, to trust God, to do my best to stay tuned in to His heart and what He is doing.  I'm reminding myself even now that both Jesus and Paul did not have a traditional family, yet their lives were profoundly meaningful.  They impacted the world through their obedience to God, their spoken and written words, and the strength of their friendships and relationships.  Obviously, I don't know all of what God has in store for my future.  I feel tired of pushing for something He isn't granting, and I'm genuinely confused about what leap to take or where to dig in when I read quotes like the one pictured below (at this desk where I'm writing).  I'm fairly clear on what matters to me, but I cannot make certain things happen - God could, but He hasn't - and for whatever reason, I feel that more deeply today.

And even while others are facing harder things or dealing with painful news or spending this season in the hospital... my ambiguous grief matters too - my heart still matters to God, and yours does too, whatever big or small things you may be carrying today.  But rather than wallowing or worrying aimlessly, I'm going to pray and focus on connecting with God, who moves toward us when we seek Him and move toward Him.  So I'm going to work on what I can control... ie moving toward Him, making healthier food choices, breathing, regulating my chaotic emotions, taking steps toward building my future career, and remembering that my choices and words matter and have a ripple effect, for better or worse.

I've been looking at marathon training plans today, watching Brittany Runs a Marathon, and feeling inspired to put my best foot forward in training over the next 5 months.  It's a meaningful goal I can move toward one step at a time, and in the process, I will become healthier and stronger physically and mentally.

Waiting and wondering is messy and hard.  (For everyone, not just me).

God knows and He cares.  There is a lot of beauty and joy surrounding us, and hope is freaking resilient.  So I'm staying tuned for what God has in store, expecting good things and baby-stepping toward a more meaningful life.  And I'm reminding you that you are loved by God and He has good plans for your future.  So stay tuned!

❤❤❤

Break Recap!

Thanksgiving Break is nearly over - it's been nice!  I wrote about our Thanksgiving day already.  Black Friday started with Asher's 1st Birthday party at Emily and Chas's house!

Mom and Dad were hosting people for the OSU game at their house, so Mom left a little early for that and Rach left to bring Jace something he forgot as he was staying with his dad this weekend.  T-man and I stayed back for the smash cake pics and the actual bday cake... Wendy joined us in talking about Triston's college plans and applying to the Air Force Academy!  As you can tell by the pics, Asher Kenneth was in a mood having missed his morning nap, not really trusting me or Rach to hold him! lol

Proof that life is better with cake. ;-)

It's fun seeing JoBug in the Grandma role - she's loving it!!

I went straight from there to Mom and Dad's, where everyone was dressed in our best OSU gear to watch the Cowboys score zero points in a rough game against Colorado. lol (But yay for this pic anyway!!)

Triston and I went to Rachael's house to work on his scholarship applications a bit, then eventually came back to Mom and Dad's for the big family dinner... ribs and chicken from Canes and Rib Crib + broccoli rice casserole, corn, bread, and lots of desserts!

The twins looking cute in their hats, all the boys looking through the Parrish fam scrapbooks, and me and Tman at the table!

Saturday morning, everyone came to see my house and Christmas decor.  The boys went right for the "cotton candy couch," which made me happy!  Dad and Gene having a chat at my table + the boys looking through my latest scrapbooks. =)

After that, we had a final lunch at Red Robin before the other Muecke fam headed back to Texas!

Mom and I insisted on a group pic in the restaurant and outside! #noragrets #loveit

There was no hostess present, so Mom asked a random lady sitting at a table if she'd take this pic for us.  Turns out, she goes to church with Gene and Nancy, so that was fun! =)

Friday night, Chet sent this pic of Tate hanging the first ornament on their lovely Christmas tree.  With the lights reflecting off the window and Tate on the ladder, it all looks perfectly magical. ❤

This feels true for me. lol

For the rest of my Saturday, I had a personal movie marathon, enjoying snacky foods while finally seeing Red One, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, and Gladiator II - which was my favorite of the three, but I enjoyed all of them, along with Deadpool and Wolverine on Disney+!  #strengthandhonor #legacy

Today has also been somewhat restful, while making healthier food choices and working out!  Happy December, and Happy Birthday to Laura Allison!  Here's a 2013 throwback pic of us. =)

And that completes my quick recap of our weekend!  One more post coming today. =)

❤❤❤