Birthdays & Besties

Saturday was Mom's 70th Birthday (born in Texas, 1-18-55)... and we celebrated with dinner at Firebirds in OKC (a new place for us - good and similar to Red Rock)!  Chet Lee kindly provided this lovely pink Christmas-themed cake from Ludger's... YUM!  Love this pic with Mom! ❤

The wonderful Wilson fam made the trip from Tulsa to celebrate with us, and Karli made the glittery Cricut cake topper Mom is holding here!!

Kyndal and Parker were cute friends again... Chet also brought Mom's long-awaited Christmas ribbon from Amber Marie!

Table group pic... (they initially tried to seat us at 3 separate tables, but they eventually made this work without too much drama)!

Mom looking beautiful with her impressive birthday board made by Rach, lovely cake topper by Karli, and birthday roses from the restaurant! ❤

Kyndal Faith made Parker Elizabeth a rainbow-loom bracelet, which made my day as much as it made Parker's! lol. We got pics of everyone with Mom in their patio room after dinner!  I got one of Chet and Mom together since it was also his 1/2 birthday!! =)

Christmas cake gif!

Group pic! ❤❤

A 2-player version of Ring Around the Rosie. lol

All in all, it was a memorable night and a wonderful celebration for Mom - good food, fun atmosphere, great pictures, and I'm super grateful that the Wilsons and Charlene joined us for it!!  (For the record, Carter Lee was competing in a rodeo and could not make it, and Bill and Jill's first great-grandson, Gatlin, shares a bday with Mom, so they were understandably at his party!)

Yesterday, I came to Tulsa for dinner with the Wilsons and Fultons - here's our party-of-8 group pic!

We were celebrating Sarah's last day before heading back to Kansas to start her 3rd semester of the DNAP program to become a CRNA!  Chet sent a group text to confirm this plan around 3pm.  Thankfully, Steve was also there to remind Sarah, as she had started cooking them dinner at home just before this! lol  I totally get being frazzled and having your thoughts feel fragmented, though - hopefully everything will calm back down as this new semester gets going for her!

It was good to catch up with the Fultons and hear more about their family road trip.  And it was fun to watch the girls play together and see Tate bonding with Uncle Steve! =)  Sarah eventually put on the animated Cinderella for the girls, which will forever and always bring back delightful childhood memories for me! 

Voicing their princess dolls...

Kate as Belle:  "HEY!!  You wanna be best friends!?"

Parker as Snow White:  "Yeeees!" lolol No introduction needed!

❤

And that brings us to today, where I made another Tulsa trip for an MLK Day hair appointment with Janelle!  We had a good talk, my hair now matches my extensions better, and I got this cute Valentine's-themed headband - hooray!

Sarah and her fam traveled to Kansas and changed out her mattress for the coming semester... her course load has doubled for this season - praying she has a good semester ahead, and thankful that all of us completed our road trips before tonight's snowfall!

I'm grateful for all the fun times and group events pictured above!  And I am extra grateful for the sincere encouragement and solid advice from Chet Lee lately on family stuff, health goals, work decisions, & Scriptural discernment... pictured here in his Inauguration-Day patriotic flannel shirt! =)

Speaking of, here's Carrie Underwood's impromptu, brief-but-powerful acapella version of America the Beautiful from today's Inauguration ceremony!

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Marathon Monday #6

I'm feeling extra-grateful tonight!  Eating my sandwich on a leftover Christmas party plate and writing this blog after a fun unexpectedly snowy drive home from Planet Fitness, where I did a 4-mile intervals run.  

What I reeeally felt like doing after my Tulsa trip this morning...

But I pushed myself to go, and I'm glad I did!!  I genuinely enjoy the workouts once I'm there and never regret having done them - it's just the initial act of choosing to go that's difficult.  (Same holds true with healthier foods.)

So that's my big news as I start week 6 of training... the "feels like 6 degrees" weather helped me decide to rejoin Planet Fitness... I'm such a fan... the "visually loud" atmosphere in Mom's favorite colors, the "You Belong" and "Judgment-Free Zone" signs everywhere, the red light therapy, hydromassage, massage chairs, 30-minute circuit workouts, mats for stretching and floor workouts, and good cardio equipment... all great for me!  I don't mind the Pizza Mondays either. lol 

It's been a minute, PF, but I'm grateful to be back!!

And I'm grateful that God held back the snow until tonight.  Mom's birthday dinner was Saturday, then I had two days in a row with Tulsa trips.  So that's all for this post - one more coming right up!

God's Faithfulness

Happy 70th Birthday to my wonderful Mom today!! ❤

I'm excited to celebrate her with the fam and the Wilsons later tonight!  Just checked my phone, and Mom and I have had 13 phone calls in the past 3 days, and that's probably fairly average for us.  I'm grateful for who Mom was to me through my childhood, for all the ways she showed up and listened well and helped with homework and took us shopping and made our home beautiful and fun and always welcomed our friends joining in... AND I'm grateful for the close relationship we've had through my adult life, knowing I can always call her for big and small things (and clearly, I do), knowing she will take my side in any argument ever - lol, and knowing she cares and would notice very quickly if I went missing or something went wrong!  Finally, I am grateful that she gets to be "Mamaw" to Rachael's kids - her grandkids are her pride and joy, and I'm thankful for God's grace in getting her through the 2011 wreck and multiple rounds of cancer and major surgeries, very thankful she is healthy and sharp and able to host our weekly family dinners and be actively involved in all of our lives!! ❤❤

In other news, I learned this fun fact since my last post - yay!

My new fav pic of J&K... it was camo day at CHA, and Jace really went all out. lolol

Miss K wanting to be a vet when she grows up! =)

Random meme that made me laugh!

Made me think of this scene:

Martin:  "Nooo, don't give him that stuff!  Chocolate's bad for dogs!!"

Sarcastic Frasier:  "Ironic, considering its vast health benefits for humans." lolol

I joined Rach in a lunch-hour meeting with Tracy, then she walked over with me to see my office and the courthouse for the first time... yay!!

One of the best and most simple illustrations for this I have seen.  Fixed mindset is self-protective and focuses on your limits and keeps your life and your ambitions small... growth mindset feels more unfinished, but it leaves room to keep expanding and building a bigger life! 

I wrote this calendar note to myself in January 2024.  Listened to the podcast again, but I have zero idea what journal I was referring to... which led to me sifting through about 25 journals I've written in through the years trying to figure that out. lol

I did find other gems, though. lol  Like these 25-year-old photo booth stickers from our Hawaii trip. I wish we had a bigger pic of me, Rach, and Emily... and it's funny to me that we even saved the top one! lol

Classic 1999 Lindsey, feeling guilty for being an imperfect human and confused about what would fix that + dotting my i with a Christian fish symbol and adding a snowflake at the end bc I was hoping to marry Daniel Snow down the road! lol  Mess.

Aww, the randomness of HDW from yesteryear. lol  Rach and I both laughed out loud at her quote about being Vice President!

Speaking of randomness, here's one of my prayer lists from 6th grade summer... my immediate family being at the bottom of the list that included all of America and "all catholics" is comical. lol

Still trying to figure out whether I was trying to draw a waistband and button or a midriff-baring crop top shirt, which I've worn zero times in my entire lifespan - the first makes far more sense, but the second is what I'm seeing. lol  I like that my 8th grade self chose this cheesy gem as "my song," though!

I so remember that trial in Chickasha... him and Kenneth Smith are the two defendants in my 20-year career who I was adamantly for and believe they were wrongly charged and prosecuted... the jury agreed with me both times, so yay!  Then I decided to write about JMM memories "because I was bored..."

Annnd 17 actual pages later, I stopped for that day at #50!  Gracious, 21-year-old Lindsey was a hot mess. lol

Why did I feel the need to draw my fav Marble Slab dessert? lol I dunno, but that and me saving the movie flier from 2001 bring me joy!

Me diary-venting five days before she and God gave me the chance to prove it.  I've been aware of this entry and the timing of it for a while, but just today noticed the verse at the top of this page (about God's faithfulness in seasons of lament, His goodness and mercy to those who depend on Him and seek Him).  My emotions and feelings about Malori have shifted approximately 100,000 times since I wrote this.  That verse and God's faithfulness have never shifted. Seriously, what a gift for that to be on this particular page!

There are 31 journals/diaries pictured here, not including my blog books, Write the Word journals, Bible study homework journaling, various scrapbooks, Xanga and MySpace blogs, and this 17-year blog.  A great deal of the content is mundane nonsense, but I'm grateful that I lead a ridiculously well-documented life!

And I'm ready to sift through it for the stories and details that matter most as I start my memoir book this year!  I need to average 500 words a day from now to June 21st - some subjects will need more and some less, but that's the general goal.  The game plan:

• Personal writing style inspired by own blog + the writings of Shauna Niequist, Donald Miller, John Eldredge, Ally Fallon, Annie F. Downs, Eddie Kaufholz, Melanie Shankle, Sophie Hudson, Ashley Campbell, and Mel Robbins!!
• 77 brief essay chapters (already outlined), averaging 900 words each = approximately 70,000-word memoir book!! ❤
• Draft 1 Goal = June 21, 2025 (2 days per 1000-word essay, narrowing it all down later!)
• 70 days to go back and make personal edits from June 22 to September 1st, then give it to a few friends/family to read and get their feedback!
• Have an actual draft ready to submit or self-publish by Christmas of 2025!

I love this navy mud bench with cheerful yellow decor in my entryway, and it makes me happy to be using it for actual coats and scarves this year!!

Excited to see this preshface and her family later today! ❤

On that note, happy half-birthday to Chettles!!

Well, this post is super random, but such is life.  Happy Saturday, friends and fam!  I'm sore from my 7.3 miles yesterday afternoon, and I'm supposed to do 4 more today.  It's getting real now!!  Hope you see God's faithfulness any time you look back on your own life story, and hope you enjoy the long weekend ahead!  

❤❤❤

Full Circle

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"The current cultural messaging that tells women it's attractive to play dumb and fragile and hope that they're saved by their beauty is incredibly destructive... Let's set a new example for a generation of young women who are watching us closely.  Let's teach them by our example to be women who work hard, who pay attention to their dreams, who give themselves to making the world a better place."  -Shauna Niequist

Seeing my official diploma makes it all feel more real! ❤
Updated Edit:  I learned from Amy that "High Distinction" means I'm in the Top 10% of my class, which is pretty cool!!

Seeing the diploma, my mind quickly went back to the "Beauty for Ashes" post I wrote back in September 2013, the day I received my Bachelor's diploma from SNU... the gaping loss and despair I felt in that season, the sense of brokenness and unworthiness, the way the enemy was at work, the friends who continually showed up and built me back up, the lonnnng road to hope and healing, the strong hope for a redeemed friendship story, and ultimately getting redemption that looked very different from what I had pictured.  I feel ready to tell my story (or collection of stories) with as much grit and unpolished honesty as I can muster, to mine for new ways God will show up and speak to me as I write it all down with fresh perspective, to trust that He will use it all for good in ways I cannot see yet... wish me luck, and pray that I'll put in the work and see it all the way through!!  This is the year for finishing things I started long ago... including but not limited to the full marathon (in April), losing 100 pounds (potentially by my birthday), and writing a book (first full draft ready by September 1st and edits done by Christmas).

"We dilute the beauty of the gospel story when we divorce it from our lives, our worlds, the words and images that God is writing right now on our souls.  There's nothing small or inconsequential about our stories.  If you want your community to be marked by radical honesty, by risky, terrifying, ultimately redemptive truth-telling, you must start telling your truth first.  Don't allow the story of God, the sacred, transforming story of what God does in a human heart, to become flat and lifeless.  If you have been transformed by the grace of God, then you have within you all you need to write your manifesto, your poem, your song, your battle cry, your love letter to a beautiful and broken world.  Your story must be told."
-Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Choosing Belonging

Okay, I legit need to complete three transcripts and I'm struggling to get out of holiday mode (eating all the things and procrastinating on all the work), so I've deleted FB and Instagram from my phone for at least the remainder of this week, and this will be the last blog post I write from work (started it yesterday and just need to finish and publish it this morning).

I went to see Mufasa with Rach and J&K at Flix yesterday afternoon - enjoyed the movie more than I expected, and it was fun times hanging out with the Parrish crew!! ❤

Saturday was Kyndal's volleyball tournament at UCO!  I chatted with Rach and laughed about her and Mom's intensity at all sporting events!  It makes me happy just to watch the team camaraderie, and I don't care deeply if they win or lose, outside of wanting K-Faith to enjoy it and do her best! lol

I believe this used to be a pile of snow in the corner of the parking lot at Lake Hefner... either way, the standing water is new, and it made me happy to see a couple ducks hopping in for a swim on Saturday afternoon! lol

In sad news, presh Ella "Bellsy" is now in Heaven... Friday night, David texted me that they had to put her to sleep after she injured her back and was partially paralyzed... sadness.  Sam-puffins is doing well and will be 12 in October.  They've moved to Texas, so it's been a while since I've seen the best girlfranz or heard from David, but I'm glad to know Sammich has other small dog friends to play with now, and I'm grateful Bellsy didn't suffer long.  She was the best girlfran and the sweetest Pom puppy, and I so look forward to seeing her smiley little fluffy self again in Heaven (along with Rylee and Reagan and Kelsey and more)!!

❤❤❤

10-24-2013 to 1-09-2025

Rest in Peace Ella Belle, aka "Bellsy"

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Just inserting something random that made me laugh! =)

Huzzah for snow days and these impressive snowmen by the Wilson fam!!

Katherine Claire living it up at Disneyland - Sarah said they had a great road trip, and she highly recommends a Disneyland visit!

My fav niece and nephew enjoying CHA's Spirit Week!!
(Kyn and Dylan as refs for Duo Day + J&K on Cowboy/Cowgirl Day)

Happy Birthday to Michelle today! ❤

This = a fun new headband holder from Mom - yay!  To be honest, I like what my headband collection says about me. lol  Chet calls this dynamic "visually loud," but I'm going with "sparkly and vibrant!" =) ❤

Shifting to a more difficult and important topic, a fellow CHA alumni and FB friend is on my heart today.  She has overcome several challenges and lived with resilient strength, so I've paid attention to her story.  She shared a beautiful, joyful post on January 1st about how she couldn't be more grateful for her relationships and felt like she had everything she'd ever dreamt of at her fingertips... only three days later, she was grieving her boyfriend's death by suicide.  I do not know him or his family, and I do not know her well at this stage of life.  Still, even seeing this from a distance had a sharp impact on me.  The juxtaposition of her New Year's Day post to the heartbroken tribute posts and an obituary encouraging donations to mental health foundations and suicide prevention... it's tragic in so many ways, and I'm praying for her and her boys and his family and everyone directly affected in the aftermath of his choice.

With that context in mind, I am reminding myself (and you) to choose life in big and small ways, to draw near to God, to engage and be present with others, to set and work toward goals that mean something to you, to dwell on the ways you belong and  how you can add value to the lives around you (rather than dwelling on how you don't fit in or don't really matter to others).  The enemy is always speaking, but so is Jesus, and we get to choose which voice we listen to and get to know and prioritize.

As someone who has struggled with the darkness of suicidal thoughts MANY years ago, and as a single woman who is very familiar with playing the third-wheel role and being included in other people's family dynamics and hanging out with older and/or younger generations, I have thought about all of this a lot.  The truth is, on any given day and in any group setting, you can dwell on how you don't really fit in and make yourself feel like the outcast or the odd man out... you can choose to withdraw and dissociate and disengage and isolate and feel invisible... OR you can intentionally choose belonging and decide to be seen, to contribute to the conversation, to be genuine and vibrant and joyful, to learn from others and add value, to believe you are wanted and loved by the people surrounding you.  Relationships matter, and YOU matter - your life, your story, your talents, your God-given gifts, your opinions and desires - they matter.  When other people aren't around, you can choose to feel alone or to connect with God and believe He is always present with you - there's a huge difference in how you will feel.  I want to be a beacon for choosing life and hope and light, for reaching out every time you need help!  Choose to notice the details, to care about others, to celebrate goodness wherever you see it.  You really can step up and speak up and choose to belong.  As God's children, none of us are ever fully "at home" outside of Heaven, and everyone wants good company for the journey until we get there!  Single or dating or married, you can always choose community and belonging, and it's worth it!!

Praying we all embrace the abundant love and support that's available for us, and intentionally love and support others in return!! ❤

Seeing this was a good reminder for me as I step back from the Tulsa-move plan and prayerfully wait on what God has planned for me next.  To be here now, fully present and alive and wholehearted.  (Annnnd getting back to work. lol)

This moment matters, and your choices matter.
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Marathon Monday #5!

Happy Monday, friends and fam... hope your week is off to a good start!

A month ago (12-12-24), I interviewed for an Intake Therapist job at CREOKS.  They mentioned offering higher pay for a school-based therapist position, a solid option where I could continue working with Marla.  Since that day, I've finished grad school, hosted Christmas events, passed several background checks, accepted the job and announced the move, completed numerous onboarding documents with CREOKS, looked at homes in Tulsa, met with my OKC realtor, and connected with a potential candidacy supervisor.  Some fast-paced movement and chaos, but life always seems to slow down a bit in January - enough to hear the whispers over the whirlwind!  Having some extra time to reflect, pray, and process lately has helped me realize I don’t have God-given peace about moving for this job, as much as I wish I did...

Initially, I felt excited and believed God was opening these doors, but my own lack of inner peace + outside factors not lining up + good conversations with Chet Lee, Mom, Rach, and Kristin... along with John Eldredge’s recent warnings on guarding against deception in big life decisions, have gradually clarified that this isn’t the right path for me in this season.  I dread walking back a commitment I made publicly, especially since part of me still feels drawn to Tulsa and hesitant to let a good job opportunity go.  But when I slow down enough to be honest with myself and God, a number of factors point to the timing being off, and this role does not align well with my heart and calling.  (I am capable of growing and learning new things, but I can do nothing apart from Jesus, so I need to feel certain that He is in it with me!)  My passion is for deeper conversations and bringing light into darkness for adult clients, not full-time work with young kids and their families - the area where I consistently felt least competent and most easily exhausted/overwhelmed through my internships.

Chet had some great insight and reminded me that I'm in a good position to trust God's timing and wait for the right opportunity without rushing or giving in to pressure that's not from God.  I cannot say with any clarity what that will mean for my career moving forward, but I sincerely believe my time living closer to my family is unfinished.  By stepping back from this move and not racing into something I don't have peace about, I’m choosing faith and trusting God to open the right doors in His time...

Moving back into the unknown feels a bit deflating and sad, and I naturally worry about what others will think, which makes it harder for me to change course and admit that I initially missed God’s direction here - but I can see that embracing humility is also a rescue from something that could have been MUCH harder on me in the long run.  And my focus needs to be re-centered on pleasing God and moving in alignment with Him!  (Part of why “let them” is my theme for 2025:  Let others think whatever they will; Let me follow God wholeheartedly.)

* * * * * * *

On a related note, I completed 10 miles of training this weekend... a 4-mile walk on Sunday and 6 miles of mostly jogging at Lake Hefner on Saturday!  I am rocking the training workouts and getting better at pacing myself, but my eating habits are out of alignment with my health goals, so I am actively remedying that now!

My decision not to move means facing a couple of difficult conversations today - so far, I'm forcing myself to step up and they've gone better than expected.  And I'm gently reminding myself that my closest people will fully support me in this, and my decision won't significantly impact anyone else's daily life, AND no one is thinking about me as much as I might imagine they are... (this "people aren't thinking about you the way you're thinking about you" scene has genuinely helped me several times. lol)

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Sooo...

Deep breaths.

We can do hard things.

No one is doing life perfectly.

We are all figuring things out as we go!

Living in alignment with our values and goals matters.

God is with us and for us, caring enough to rescue us when we get off track!

I'm thankful for realignment with God's better pacing... and grateful for His grace and the timing of the quiet snow days last week.

I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to make choices in alignment with God's best plan for your life!!

❤ ❤ ❤