Okay, one more post for today. I've mentioned that on March 7th, I interviewed for the PhD (Doctor of Philosophy) program in Counselor Education and Supervision at Colorado Christian. And today, March 17th, I received my acceptance email! (I have until the 31st to officially accept or decline their offer of admission, so I'm going to take at least a week to pray about that and seriously consider my options moving forward.)
But for today, I want to celebrate that I did the hard work of applying, preparing, praying, interviewing, and waaaiting... that I felt poised and represented myself as well as I could've hoped for in the virtual interviews, and that I got into the highest counseling degree offered by what I sincerely consider the best Christian university program available! The CCU faculty is so solid, and I may get to join them someday... which is truly exciting!!
I feel honored and grateful, and in spite of my impatience at having to wait through an extra weekend to hear this news, I feel confident that God was at work in that timing (like the 21-mile jog that reminded my heart to find hope in Spring, and the rubber band video that led me not to give up or let go of other dreams, and the fact that my interview and acceptance date both have 7s in them). Little things matter to me, and I believe God's hand is often seen in the details!
❤
I was watching my email all day, and this arrived at 3:56 PM. I felt immediate relief and joy, and it helps me understand how God was shifting my focus here as several jobs I've applied for have not worked out lately.
12 years ago, Laura Allison threw a surprise graduation party for me after I finished my bachelor's degree program at SNU. She even relabeled the Dr. Pepper with "Dr. Muecke" ...at the time, my plan was to move right into a combined Masters/Doctorate program. In early 2014, I applied for competitive programs at OSU (ignored because a recommendation letter arrived late), Rosemead (rejected), and eventually SNU (also rejected, in spite of high grades and recommendations from their best professors). I wasn't particularly confident or ready, I was grieving a major loss, and the doors I stepped toward in that season did not open. I can see now that the timing would not have been right in any number of ways, and the schools themselves were not where God intended for me to be...
I say all that mostly to emphasize that this has been a long-held dream for me, and God has finally opened the door now.... the right door in the right time.
And I feel very hopeful that it's the first of many, like a series of automatic doors, desired opportunities that God will open as I step toward them. ❤
God is always good and kind, but I'll be the first to acknowledge that hope is much easier to feel and believe after the acceptance email than before - the "renewed strength" part is awesome; the "waiting on the Lord" part is rough!
Gracious, I'm processing this news and praying for wisdom and peace, but I wanted to document this while it's all fresh. I know it would be a 3-year commitment and a very challenging path ahead, but I also know I am not in this alone. God is with me and for me, helping me grow in wisdom and maturity and favor with God and man. I am complete through my union with Christ, and He has the power to shape and transform my heart and open the right doors at the right time that will lead to the greatest Kingdom impact...
And every bit of that deserves to be celebrated!! =)
Happy Saint Patrick's Day, and Happy Marathon Monday!! ❤
Spring is springing, and I'm so enjoying it (minus the intense sunburn on my neck from my 5.5 hours outside yesterday -- I'll remember sunscreen next time)!! Of all the leaves and blooms and fruit on all the various trees, the Bradford Pear trees always capture my attention. Something about the extravagance of so many perfect little temporary blooms - both the quantity and the quality of God's work there speaks to me about His creativity and generosity and love of detail, and the idea that there is beauty and value in things that have a short life span. (Pink flowers would make it extra special... someday, I wanna visit the Cherry Blossom Festival in DC... I thought about all of that during my walk yesterday.) ❤
Anyway, on the Board of Empowerment & Inspiration for today is Linda, Chettles, and Rachael LaJo. Linda is my friend from yesteryear in Lindsay's Lifegroup... she's been living in Colorado for several years now and she lives a really active, vibrant life including lots of hiking and 5k/10k/trail races! Chet Lee recently signed up for the Disney Marathon this coming January... 26.2 in 2026! He has a plan in place to train hard for that after completing the Tulsa Tough bike race this summer - go Chet!! We're gonna plan our family Disney/Universal trip for that same week, so I'm super excited to cheer him on at the Finish Line! And Rach is feeling verrry ready for a job transition... she's been working hard and has already taken a full book of handwritten notes in her medical coding classes - I'm guessing she'll finish the online classes and be certified by the end of April! (PS the nutcracker pic still makes me laugh!)
Y'all know I love the number 7, and yesterday was a series of 7s for me. I did 6:1 intervals (jog six minutes, walk one) for 20 miles then one cool-down mile. I did 3 sets of 7 miles on my RunInterval app (highly recommend). I took a bathroom break at mile 7, then I fully changed clothes + socks and shoes at mile 14 - I think it helped my feet stay less blistered, so yay for that!! I listened to podcasts, music, and the last 2 hours of my audiobook. I focused on "strong and healthy" as my mantra - listing as many things as I could think of (strong and healthy mind, strong and healthy body, strong and healthy soul, strong and healthy spirit, strong and healthy decisions, strong and healthy connections, strong and healthy sphere of influence, etc. Then I went through a body scan with that mantra too.) All of the above helped keep me going and keep my brain focused on good things!
My pink Brooks Hyperion shoes are likely what will carry me across the finish line next month. Although I'm pondering changing shoes halfway through like I did yesterday. It's a distinct possibility. Also, the turtle family (above) congregating on the fake alligator head at The Station always brings me joy!
I'm in the final stretch, so I revamped my original training plan a bit! I felt pretty great yesterday, and I'm planning to stick with the Galloway 6:1 intervals for the actual marathon, but continue to build speed and strength and endurance in the meantime! (The Thursday runs are being exchanged for my Wednesday walking miles with Kristin, and I'm being super flexible on the dates all around, so long as I get all the workouts in at some point.)
Start line & finish line pics - (I changed into fresh clothes at mile 14). Completing 21 consecutive miles is huge for me, and these endurance runs are reeeally boosting my confidence and resilience in an emotionally draining season! Also boosting my sense of joy and hope is the arrival of Spring and the physical reality of seasons changing from dark and dreary and cold and dormant to brighter and more colorful and warm and full of life. I just feel like I am craving spring and new growth in all aspects of my life, and it's hopeful to see the first hints of it popping up!! ❤
Another before and after pic.. my bag of extra clothes and shoes and body glide for my feet + bottled waters, Cliff Bloks black cherry energy chews, and a banana for during the run (yum - it all worked well)... then a protein shake with spinach, banana, and berries when I got home - yay!!
40 days to the race, and 7 more Marathon Monday posts to go!!
Happy Sunday, friends and fam!! I jogged 21 freaking miles today, so I had to start off with that, but I'll cover it in more detail tomorrow. =)
Here's me and Kristin on our Wednesday walk (on my 15,000th day). We had a good talk, and I hope they're having a fun family trip to Fort Worth this weekend!
Get excited - the cap and gown arrived this week!! ❤
'Twas another victorious volleyball weekend, with Kyndal Faith and her team actually winning gold in the entire tournament!! This = them celebrating after Kyndal's final serve that got them to 25!
They beat 5 teams (some took 3 games, as it's always best 2 out of 3, but they won them all in the end, and I'm proud of them for fighting so hard!!)
K-Faith and her friends from the 17s Charge team... and a family pic with the medal winner! (Side note: the 17s team was sitting behind our fam, and several of those girls are big fans of Grey's Anatomy, and I was tempted to jump into their intense discussion about it! lol)
We stopped by JoBug's to meet Miss Karsten Blaire and see Asher Kenneth for a bit! JoBug's grandma name is "Sassy," and that makes me happy!
Dabbing to match their volleyball leprechaun shirts for St. Patrick's Day! lol
The Peak gym had an entire side for beach volleyball. Did I roll up my jeans and hop in the sand for a while? Yes, definitely! Did the grains of sand stay with me longer than I'd hoped? Also yes. lol But #noragrets.
Yay, Mini Miss K and the Charge 11s team... Silver medals last weekend, and gold this weekend!!
I listened to Margaret Beck's The Way of Integrity this weekend (finished it during today's long run). She mentioned the Drama Triangle, so I looked it up to learn more... which led to learning about the Empowerment Dynamic, which is the better side of the Drama Triangle. ❤
There is a great deal of unresolved tension in my life lately, and it's become harder to tolerate, and I was quite literally planning to write a post tomorrow about letting go of the motherhood dream and walking away from online dating for now... and then I watched this short video while randomly researching the above triangles this morning. Her rubber band illustration is simple but profound... or perhaps it's just that the timing was perfectly aligned for me in this moment. I am beyond tired of the "dynamic tension" and anxiety of unmet dreams and deferred hopes, BUT I don't want to be in victim mode and shrink/lower my own dreams in order to resolve it. So my only other choice is to be prayerful and get brutally honest about what I really want most, and stay intentional about taking action to move my current reality closer to my dreams and vision for my future. In whatever unmet goals you may be facing, I hope this encourages you today too! (I set it to start at the part that helped me, but feel free to start from the beginning.)
Okay, that's all for today. God is with us and for us, and He is at work behind the scenes, even and maybe especially when we feel very tempted to give up. His power is real; His love is steadfast; I'm praying that my resolve will be stronger and more steadfast, as well.
Song of the Week = "Precious Love" by James Morrison, courtesy of Schitt's Creek ❤
“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.)" ~2 Timothy 3:1-7
I haven’t talked about it often, but that last verse sometimes scares me. The first time I heard it in a Bible study years ago, I remember feeling a deep, sinking discomfort, as if the words were aimed directly at me. (Or maybe it was just the enemy whispering lies - it definitely felt more like shame/condemnation than Spirit-led conviction.) Different translations describe these women as weak, gullible, silly, or weak-minded. They are “always studying, learning, and listening to anybody who will teach them, but never able to come to the full knowledge of the truth.”
“They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.”
Other versions say:
—“Having a form of godliness but denying its power.”
— “They will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power.”
Always learning, but never arriving at the truth. Putting on a good show, yet continually giving in to sinful desires, living without the dynamic anointing of God.
Let it not be me, Jesus.
I want to walk in sincere repentance and integrity, embracing the acceptance, love, grace, wisdom, and fierce authority and power of God.
* * * * * * *
Several aspects of my life feel unfinished right now, and it’s easy to focus on what’s still undone instead of the good things currently unfolding. Waiting can feel like being stuck, but unfinished means I’m still growing. (And there’s a big difference between continually growing in faith and knowledge, moving toward deeper truth, vs. chasing new teachings and leaving myself open to deception. Studying these verses a bit today actually brought more clarity and comfort.)
A series of cross-references led me to this passage, which I want to meditate on:
“And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the Head over every ruler and authority.” ~Colossians 2:6-10
This post is deep and a little scattered, but the firm reminder that I am COMPLETE in Christ was exactly what I needed in this season.
I recently talked with Emily about how much I long for acceptance, how it often feels just out of reach, like something I have to earn or maintain in relationships. We talked about how that acceptance has to start from within, with loving myself and extending grace to others. #letthem But honestly, it goes deeper than that...
It begins with abiding in Christ’s love and acceptance. Leeeeaning into the truth that I am already complete — whole and enough — in Him. Right here, today. Not when I cross the finish line. Not if/when I have the devoted love of a boyfriend or husband. Not if/when a child calls me "Mom" for the first time. Not if/when I earn a PhD, land a counseling job, publish a book, or achieve my ideal body weight. Not through any certain platform, title, or role.
Yes, my life goals matter, but I don't want to feel like I'm grasping for people’s acceptance. My inner strength and foundation must be centered in Christ. (All other ground is sinking sand.) I feel this right now, and I want to refocus my heart here. Searching God's Word and seeking the direct voice of Jesus over any human teaching. Being more rooted and grounded in His love and acceptance, believing down to my very core that I am “complete through my union with Christ, who is the Head over every ruler and authority.”
The Queen of Random Information here, letting you all know today is my 15,000th day on earth, which just popped up on the calendar reminder I set for myself a few years ago. lol Hooray for Day 15,000!! ❤
I actually wrote a post for Day 10,000 (HERE) back in 2011. It fell right in between our OKC road trip to celebrate Malori's birthday and me being the Maid of Honor at Rachael's wedding. Needless to say, a lot has changed over time, and every season God gives us is a gift! I appreciate that this falls on a relatively ordinary day, and I like the reminder that our days are numbered and Every Second Counts. I could go on and on about it, but I'll spare you that. I am very grateful for the people who have stayed the course with me, and I'm grateful for the daily grace of God, and I'm praying for a renewed sense of God-given hope, clarity, and purpose as I continue to move forward!!
"I figure life's a gift, and I don't intend on wasting it. You never know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you, to make each day count." -Jack Dawson (Rest in Peace)
Cheers! lol
45 days from now, I will run the OKC Memorial Marathon. I'm pushing myself harder for these final 7 weeks of training - already feeling sore from that, but I'm excited about putting more heart into it! I hope the same holds true for you in whatever goal you are pursuing in this season!!
Okay then, that's really all for this post. I love you and believe in you, and Jesus does too!!
Happy Marathon Monday! I'm keeping this one short because I honestly forgot about it until now, and I'm trying to go to bed earlier this week.
I did six miles after work today, and it was good. I missed my long run this past weekend, but I'm supposed to do 20 miles this coming weekend, so I'm going to focus on that and maybe break up the miles I missed into several short runs. Whatever. Overall, I'm doing pretty well with training and feeling back on track mentally. I'm doing my best to get out of my head about feeling like what I'm doing is not enough or feeling pressured to be faster.
Training for long races is such a mental game - you have to win it there first - and that applies to so many things in life. Regular time outside walking and jogging is challenging me to control what I focus on. I can focus on feeling awash in rejection/confusion or focus on God being a God of abundance and trust that He has good things in store for me. Temporary truth vs. eternal truth - it's a daily, moment-by-moment choice of mindset, and what we focus on will grow! #BOLD
So I'm reminding myself right here tonight that God's grace is enough for today's needs, and He is worthy of my absolute trust. And tomorrow, His grace will be enough for tomorrow's needs. And He will be worthy of our absolute trust. Right now, I need to be intentional about pursuing peace, and I need to rest and sleep, so that's the plan. =) Be kind to yourself, and lean into the grace of God for whatever you need today! His mercy is new every morning, and He knows what is best for us individually, and He patiently guides us along that path. ❤
It was another Tulsa tournament for Kyndal Faith and the 11s Charge team this weekend. The Wilsons joined Mom and I for a fun dinner at Mission BBQ on Saturday night! Parker E is cracking me up with the facial expressions and fun posses lately!! ❤
The Mini Miss K was on fire - she played with a lot of grit and heart, and it's been fun to see their whole team improving!
Dad stayed home with Jaceman, so it was another girls' weekend, which is always fun!! Rach and Kyndal drove up on Friday night, and Mom and I came in on Saturday morning. (We stayed at the team hotel, which was the Southern Hills Marriott where I've had several court reporting seminars.)
Of course, we had to stop at Amber Marie, which was decked out in fun Easter decor! We grabbed a couple cute gifts for Karsten Blaire, who we will finally meet next Saturday!
Rach made these awesome signs for the team and the coaches... they handed them out on Saturday when the team had dinner at Mother Road Market!
As I expected, Mom was a fan of Mission BBQ (we split the brisket and cheesy potatoes and cornbread), and the rest of us enjoyed it again! Parker was excited about some cornbread and ketchup, and Tate drew an impressive replica of their Mission BBQ logo. It's always good to catch up with the Wilson fam!!
Sunday, they played at 1 and 3... later than we expected, but it was nice being able to sleep in on time change Sunday! The girls won both of their games that day, so they got the medal for the silver division... YAY!!
Pics with the volleyball star + Mom showing the girls some great videos she took of them playing!
So much more fun when they all leave the gym in high spirits!
We got back around 6:15 last night. I had dinner with Mom and Dad then headed home to do laundry and watch a few episodes of Cobra Kai... I've decided Johnny Lawrence is kinda like Michael Scott... a lawsuit waiting to happen, but entertaining and occasionally endearing enough that you find him likable. =) The pic below = Mom's lovely new table centerpiece!
We had a good talk on the drives down and back, and it was a fun weekend all around, so yay for that!! Now I have to catch up on running today, so wish me luck!
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